Saturday, October 12, 2013

Day 190-224: Change is Constant

It's funny how the course of one's life can turn into a full 360 in just a short period of time. I'm amazed at how the subtle events that happen every single day becomes a whole new experience after a month, even so after a year. You might be wondering why I'm suddenly throwing these partially obvious realities to you after more than a month of absence, which I am deeply apologetic of. Well, you will not believe the changes that happened in my life in just one month. Okay, maybe it's not that drastic when you get to read about it but it is to me, so allow me to share about it.

As you know, I'm back in my hometown now working for le parents for the meantime. It's not the ideal setting that I would've wanted but since my sister will be leaving for Canada, I have to take over her roles in helping with the family business---that was the original plan. But then when my sister got back from Canada after a week of staying there, she suddenly decided she didn't wanna work there and would rather run a business of her own. I know, I know what you're thinking, I've been there too. How could she throw such opportunity away? Mind you, I have a lot (and that is even an understatement) of questions I wanted to bombard her with.

Apart from that, I felt so betrayed because of her audacity to make such decisions without considering the life that I left in Cebu for all of this. So my parents decided to give one of the family business to both of us and we'll manage it together, which means, I will never be able to go back to Cebu to work again, I'm not really sure what I feel about what's happening but if there's one thing I learned, it's to never fight what's inevitable. Of course, I always have the option no to accept their proposal but I've thought about it and maybe there is a reason for all of this and we'll just see how everything will turn out.

Also, I've been blessed romantically speaking when I came back here. I refuse to share what's happening on that aspect for the meantime but what I can say is that I am really happy. And I hope it stays that way. I promise I'll share it with you once I get the courage to do so. I'll update you with everything that's happening from time to time, although I can't promise anything. Thank you for reading though. :)

Monday, September 9, 2013

Day 182 to 189: Not Ready Yet

As of the moment, I'm stressing about a humongous pimple on my right shoulder which I accidentally scratched, thus making it look even bigger than it already is. I (excuse the French) fucking hate it. Okay, I know how random that was but I just can't get over it. Anyway, spare me the rolling of eyes, I'm not going to make an excuse for my absence anyway. I haven't been able to write for more than a week now but despite the long absence, I don't have much to say.

Well, there are a couple of change in habits brought about by the changes that happened recently. I don't go to the gym anymore simply because I don't have the luxury and the resources anymore but I still do my exercises at home every other day. There's also lesser time for me to go out with friends because 1. my friends are way too busy with their lives (no pun intended) and 2. Sunday is my only rest day. Yes, you read that right. Since the family is running a business, we are open 7 days a week, only on Sunday I am given the option of not showing up. 

It's a little bit draining and I'm not used to it especially the fact that I work for my parents and I live under their roof so I am forced to live under their sometimes-absurd-and-not-really-fair house rules. And I'd be lying if I say that I don't miss my independent life because I do, more than you know. But we all have to make sacrifices so I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. As they say, the only difference between a good and a bad day is your attitude towards it. So I'm choosing positive vibes all the way!

And not that it's anything important but someone's courting me right now and I don't know what to make of it. Not to brag or put him off but he's a little bit out of my league, for lack of a better term. He clearly has a long way to go in terms of improving and making a name for himself so I'm thinking this is not yet the best time for the both of us, although I haven't told him that yet. I'll just update you about it.

Anyway, I will not make this long. I'll be off to dreamland in a while. I am not yet so sure when the next post will be, let's just hope it'll be sooner. Thanks for reading you guys, I'll talk to you soon. Tata!

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Day 170-181: Crossed Off The List

11 days. It's been than long since my last post. And during those days, I was and still am grappling the changes that's currently happening in my life right now. It's a bit unnerving and I'm kind of in a love-hate relationship with the situation that I'm in. Most days I am more than certain I've made the right decision and some days, I wrack my head with an explanation of those decisions in the first place. Well, we all have those days. One thing I'm certain though, I know I may be at a loss right now but I'll get there. I'll figure things out and everything will be just as how it should be. 

I'm currently writing at home in my hometown. During the past 11 days, I've been to Cebu to get the rest of my things and then back home again. I think I've been on a plane too much this year that I could almost memorize some of the crew and staff that I travel with. Anyway, I was only in Cebu for a day, also just in time for my favorite band to visit Cebu. Okaaaay, you got me. I intentionally went back to Cebu for that reason. I cannot pass the opportunity to see them play live so I booked a ticket right away and yes, that's another one crossed off my to-do list. I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty proud of myself for achieving so much this year in terms of my bucket list. Of course, there's still a lot more to go but as I said, I'll get there.

On another note, I may not be able to update as much as before mainly because I have a lot more things to do compared to the internet-work-internet-work lifestyle that I had before, so I tend to forget most of the time. Just like what happened during the past days. But I'll really try my best. 

Anyway, I will not make this long. I'm gonna be off to bed in a while so I'll just talk to you then. :)

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Day 164-169: Leap of Faith

Wow. I didn't realize it's almost a week since I posted an entry here. Where did time go?

Anyway, I have so many things to say and there's too much that happened during the time I was away so I'll try to remember everything as much as I can. So yes, this will be a lengthy one. And this is gonna get dramatic too so I'm giving you a heads up.

First things first. I am officially jobless as of today. I finally filed for resignation last Monday and although I wasn't in the company for long, I have already met a lot of beautiful people and have made a couple of friends which doesn't make leaving any easier. And since it was my last day of work last Monday, some of my friends threw their own version of despedida party for me and I was deeply touched. Although it was just over cheap food and karaoke, what made it special was the company of the people that I never thought would come. I may never see them again but they will always hold a place in my heart.

Second. After almost two years of living independently in Cebu, I'm going back home for good. It pains me to leave such a beautiful place with amazing people who taught me a lot about life and the complexities of it. It was during my stay here that I was taught how to be free and it was instilled in me that I only live once and that I should enjoy every bit of it. Some people wouldn't understand my decision of turning away from my profession for something uncertain but I don't and never will have any regrets about it. You will always be my second home, Cebu.

Third. In lieu of me leaving, I will be taking over new roles and responsibilities and I'm nudging myself into the unknown again. Even if it makes everything so much harder, we all have to move on and take a leap of faith and trust that God has more amazing plans than we can ever come up with. Of course, the fear is there and I'm always on the crossroads standing with a big question mark on my face. I'm not even entirely sure if this is what I'm supposed to do. But there's only one thing I'm sure of; that He will be with me all the way so long as I trust him. And I do. I always will.

Fourth. Okay, let's make things lighter this time. Because I will leaving in a few days time, I had to check of some of my to-do lists that I have kept putting off during the past year. Being an extreme adventurer, I finally tried out Crown Regency's Edge Coaster, Skywalk and 4D Theatre yesterday. And because my friend had connections, we were able to enjoy everything with 75% off the original price! It was the perfect way to see the city from afar and definitely an experience that's one for the books.

Fifth. Another one crossed from my checklist was getting myself pierced. I've always wanted to get a piercing at the upper cartilage of my ears but I was always paralyzed by fear. And today, I'm proud to say that I've finally conquered that fear. It turned out the pain was just tolerable and I was just overacting before. Sometimes, it pays not to overthink everything and just go with it.

Alright, I think I have covered everything that I wanted to say so I will not make this longer than it already is. I'll be leaving for CDO hopefully by Friday and I have a whole lot of packing to do from now until then so my next post might be when I'm already back home. Thanks for reading, you guys!

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Day 162-163: Idle

It's almost midnight here on my side of the world which means that it's almost bed time for me. I make it a point I at least get eight hours of sleep every night so depending on my shift the next day, I make up my own bed time curfew (if there is such a thing).

You may have noticed I didn't make an entry for yesterday and no, I didn't forget this time. I actually did it on purpose for the main reason that I was a total pig yesterday. I just stayed at home all day, only bothering to stand up to shower and to feed myself. Having that said, I didn't see any logical reason for me to make a post out of nothing so I didn't.

And it seemed the idleness I felt got carried over the next day, which is today, that I almost called off from work. But I decided otherwise knowing I only have a few days left to work before I resign. Actually, I don't have much to say because the same routinary activities happened and well yeah, that's basically it. After work, we originally wanted to go to the gym but my friend bailed out since she was having a major physical concern (for lack of a better term) and I didn't want to go alone so we ended up eating and going home right after.

Well, tomorrow's another day and I'm not sure if I will have the same strength and will to go to work but I'll really try my best. Wish me luck!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Day 161: Lift-Me-Upper

I was supposed to write and publish this last night but my inter connection was having tantrums and just wouldn't cooperate so I had no choice. Ugh, third world dramas.

Anyway, yesterday was fun. I badly needed a lift-me-upper so my friend dragged me to the mall and I finally got my eyebrows threaded for the very first time. I know it's not such a big deal for some people who do it often and it's a little embarrasing I only got to try it now but for a first timer like me, it was like subjecting myself to torture. I know I probably sound like I'm overreacting but it was really so painful I cried afterwards. I'm now having second thoughts about getting a tattoo.haha. I kid, I kid. I'm still getting one but not now.

After all the pain I went through, my eyebrows looked so much better so I could say it was worth it. We then ate truckloads of food after. I had to have a dose of my favorite Cookies 'n Cream drink then we tried out the Famous Belgian Waffle which we have been eyeing out for a while now but always got discouraged because of the long queue. Luckily, there weren't a lot of people when we passed by so there was no excuse for us this time. I tried their Banana Hazelnut and my friend had the Blueberry Creamcheese which was really really good. This could be a good business venture when I get back home, don't you think?

Speaking about home, I'll be leaving Cebu in a couple of days and I want to make the most out of it. I've always wanted to try the skywalk at a nearby hotel and luckily, my friend knows someone there who offered us half the price! How cool is that? We might go and try it out next week so I'm pretty excited. Crossing my fingers it'll push through!

Monday, August 12, 2013

Day 160: Down In The Dumps

I was and still am seriously in a battle against separation anxiety today. If you must know, I called off at work today without any particular life-threatening reasons at all. But of course, I had to make an alibi for my downright laziness and under the weather dramas, which in my case was, a bad case of dysmenorrhea. They prolly know I was lying and we've all done that in one way or another so there's no point of judging me here. I'm just human. We all are.

So yeah, I've been down in the dumps the whole day, just staying in bed and drowning in a whirlwind of endless youtube videos, only getting up to take a shower and eat. Thank God my sometimes crappy internet connection wasn't all that crappy today. There are too many things running through my mind and I try to keep myself busy in order not to think. I just want to not think for a while and just breathe and feel nothing. I know, I'm feelling all sorts of weirdness and anxiety about the upcoming changes in my life. And thinking about it scares the crap out of me.

Ugh, I know I have to get out of the house to get me some lift-me-uppers. I wanna go for a run, watch a movie, drink some good coffee, read a book and everything there is. I wanna get a tattoo and get a piercing on the upper part of my ears and I want to scream my lungs out at the top of a building or a mountain. I want to travel and get away for a while. There's too many things I want to do and feel like doing. And I ask myself, 'Why don't I?'

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Day 157-159: Leaving Soon

I knooow. I have to aplogize for the seemingly long pauses in between my posts. It's not an excuse but I just get too tired when I get off from work that I can only manage to browse updates from social media and then I doze off afterwards. Again, I'm totally aware it's not an excuse but I at least had to throw in some defense or something.haha

Anyway, work for the past three days have been such a challenge for me. I'm losing all the drive needed for me to perform relatively better. Maybe one of the factors is the fact that I may leave the company soon and I'm seeing no point of exerting any effort. Yes, I've finally decided to go back home for good, I'll just need to render a one month resignation before I leave. I'm not really too sure what will happen with me once I get home, everything is just a total blur, but I have the gut feeling it's what I'm supposed to do. So yeah, I'll just update you once everything is already in place.

Going back to the topic of work, not much has happened during the past three days. My scores are still in an erratic state and I honestly don't know what to do with it anymore. Yesterday, one of my calls were pulled up and it was played to everyone in the team so that we could learn something from it. It was a bit embarrassing at first but since I didn't have any choice, I just kept in mind that it is for the betterment of everyone as well.

Tomorrow is gonna be my last day of work for the week and I'm seriously considering taking a leave from work. But then again, that would depend on my mood by the time I wake up. I just hope everything will be better by the morrow.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Day 154-156: Too Much Going On

I haven't written anything the past three days only means one two things: 1. I got too preoccupied with worldly things and 2. I was too busy being lazy. Too much has happened during the time I was away that I don't know how to start. Everything is just so unexpected and I'm having a hard time catching up.

As mentioned in my previous post, I received a very important news and I think I'm ready to share it now. My sister called me up and said she's finally going to Canada by the middle of September since her Visa will be expiring soon. What I didn't know was the fact that she's not bringing her son along with her. She wanted me to come home and basically take over her roles and responsibilities that she will be leaving behind. Having a job here in Cebu makes it harder for me to make such decision. I'm torn between having to take on new responsibilities and leaving my freedom behind. There's a big likelihood that I'll be going home for good but I'll let you know the details on that once it's been finalized.

Anyway, last Tuesday, I had my hair colored by a friend. I originally wanted to cut and curl my hair back again but since I was short with my budget, I'll have to settle with coloring my hair. I would've wanted to go a little blonder but the color I bought had a reddish feel to it so my hair ended up colored dark red which is fine. We went straight to the mall right after coloring my hair and I badly wanted to have my ears pierced at the upper portion of it but my fear of pain eventually took over and I chickened out. I'll probably do it some other time.

Yesterday, I just stayed home in the morning and went out with my friends in the afternoon. By evening, I had to meet up with an old friend to discuss something about investing at an early age and financial planning. The meeting turned out really well and I learned so much about money, how to control and the likes. I'll update you more on that too once I get to learn more about it.

Sadly for today, I had to go to work since my seemingly long break is already over. Work was just the same drill and nothing important is really worth sharing. We did celebrate one of my friends' birthday and I probably devoured all calories for today. I promise I will be shedding all of those at the gym tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Monday, August 5, 2013

Day 152 and 153: On Leave

Seriously, something is wrong with my memory. I'm trying my hardest to remember anything I can share from what happened yesterday but nothing comes to mind. All I can recall was the steak I shamelessly devoured after work. Because it's also a payday, me and my friend decided to give in to our whims and I have no regrets right after. If my memory serves me right, it was a fairly relaxing shift. The only regret I had was not being able to attend mass because of my schedule. I just hope this schedule will change soon. I am not liking it even a bit.

Today was supposed to be my last day of work for the week but my leave was approved which turned out to be a good thing because it was a very busy day at work. I decided to shop for jeans and I was so proud of myself because I was able to stop from buying things I was so tempted to but didn't really need. I know it doesn't seem to be such a big deal but it is for me and I was able to control myself so that was a really good thing.

I then went to pamper myself and got me a manicure and pedicure. I loved how my nails turned out and although it was more expensive than others, it was totally worth it. I originally wanted to get my eyebrows threaded but I chickened out at the last minute so I might do it some other time. I went to the office right after to wait for my gym buddy since she had work and I loved it because we were the only people there. Speaking of gym, I'm not able to last a ten minute run on the treadmill anymore so I'm going for the incline and abdominals. I just hope everything pays out in the end.

I did receive a very disturbing news earlier though and these are one of those times where a decision has to be made and my life could take a 360 degree turn based on that decision. But I'm not yet ready to talk about it so I'll talk to you about that maybe tomorrow. I'll be heading off to bed in a while so I will not make this long. 'Til tomorrow!

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Day 150 and 151: Dreams or Reality?

I was supposed to publish an entry last night but for some annoying reasons (aka crappy internet), it never got published and when I woke up earlier this morning, everything got deleted and it wasn't even saved in the drafts. To make it worse, I totally forgot everything that I wrote on that entry. Well, not really everything but most of it. And I don't have the mental capacity to recall because my brain is so drained I can hardly remember what I did today. So please bear with me and understand that whatever I wrote probably happened in reality or maybe I just dreamt about it (it gets confusing sometimes).

There was not much that happened the past two days at work. It's still the same old routine but ot's not that queueing anymore. My crushie was also around yesterday even if it was his day off but I missed him today though. I'm still struggling with my scores and I wasn't able to meet my goals for July so I have to double time and come up with new things to accomplish. I'm not complaining though. I think I just need to push myself further in order to keep up with what's required of me.

On a totally unrelated note, I got really pissed off last night because I didn't get to have enough sleep. I won't get into details 'coz I know it's part of what I signed up for. I just hope things will better in due time. I will also not be making this long because it's already my imposed bed time. I'm also tired and the weather is so conducive for sleeping. It's actually been raining the entire day today which makes it even harder to go to work. Urgh, responsibilies!

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Day 149: August Rush

It's already past midnight on my part of the world and my brain is already half asleep while writing this but I'll trudge along. And it's the start of the August rush so I can't miss out. Sadly though, it wasn't such a good start for me at work. I pretty much sucked in dealing with customers today that I was seriously considering quitting by the middle of my shift. But I can't. Well, technically, I can but I choose not to. There are too many things to consider before I get to that decision.

I also got interviewed by one of the auditors in our company to evaluate my next level supervisor. I was nervous at first but I found the auditor really cute after a few minutes of talking to him. He's one of those rare types who looks more attractive the longer you talk to him because of his intellectual capacity. One of the few guys who has sense when you talk to them and who exudes sincerity by looking straight tou your eyes while you talk, and you can't help but look back. Have you ever encountered such people?

Anyway, I was so drained at the end of the shift that I had to pass on going to the gym. Instead, I went shopping with my friend (she only did the shopping, I was just looking and drooling and wishing I had millions to buy everything I'm drooling at) and ate a chocolate sundae afterwards to cure my depression for that really cute sandals I was eyeing at but could never afford to buy. Okay, I can afford but I just don't think I need another pair of flats when I just bought two this month.

I'm slowly returning to my shopaholic-ish attitude and it's not good! This has got to stop or else my earnings will be gone in no time. Help me?

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Day 148: High Standards

Okaaaay, so I just raped the replay button of Noah and Allie's epic kiss-in-the-rain scene. I cannot possibly explain how I feel right now. No, this is not the first time I'm seeing this movie but because I've been such a sloth today, I decided to watch it again. And without any second thoughts, The Notebook is and always will be my all-time favorite movie and love story. Ugh, this mushy feeling, I hate so much.

Speaking of such, a random unknown guy texted me earlier and asked if he could get to know me. I was like, 'Uhm, I'd hate to burst your bubble but I don't even know you'. He said he was from my hometown and he knew my sister. Of course. And you know what le sister said? Just give him a chance. No.Freakin'.Way! This guy doesn't even know his grammar. I know I have very high standards, which is probably one of the main reasons why I'm still single but I know what I deserve and if it's love we're talking about, why in the world would I settle for less?

Alright, enough of that. This is what happens when you don't get to seethe outside world.haha. As I said, I pretty much stayed at home the whole day today drowning myself in the world wide web. What about you? Any interesting thing that happened today?

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Day 147: Better Days Are Coming

I am so freakin' tired!

Uhmm. Well, not really. I just wanted to start this post with something a little intense and with the word 'freakin' to it. It's not entirely a lie, just a half-baked truth. Oh my, am I even talking sense here? What is the matter with me?

Okay, let's start over. My day started out a wee bit frustrating today. Besides the irritating fact that I woke up early again even without meaning to, I also found out my scores for yesterday were not at all impressive. I had to pep talk myself out of my acute depression which was not an easy task. I still cringe with disappointement just with the though of it but there's no point looming over what's already done. So, I had to brush it off and move on.

I decided to watch The Notebook as a lift-me-upper and it worked for a while, until my crappy and ever so reliable internet connection decided to go against me. I only made it halfway through the movie so I went to sleep. I was planning on bailing out of my afternoon jog date with a friend but I figured it would do me good to get some fresh air anyway so I went on with it. And boy was I right.

After the jog and a little aerobics, I felt so much better and my happy hormones got back on track in no time. August is just around the corner and I better gear myself up for it. New goals, new plans, all in pursuit of a better me. Let's start the month right, shall we?

Monday, July 29, 2013

Day 146: Getting used to

My new schedule kicks off today and under normal circumstances, this would've made me ecstatic since I'd have the luxury of sleeping late and waking up late too. But for some reasons, I still found it difficult to get up three hours later than usual. I'm not sure if my body clock is still adjusting or I'm just plain lazy. I'd still like to believe it's the former though. C'mon, I still deserve the benefit of the doubt, don't I?

I'm still adjusting to the new schedule at work too. I've been used to the same routine for the past four months and it seems like time runs ever so slowly for this schedule. And I hate the fact that everyone else ends their shift earlier than ours. Am.I talking sense here? Anyway, my day started out really great today. I had a very good score for yesterday's calls and I get to talk with my crushie. Of course, I looked like a retarded fool the whole time who can't wipe the smile off of her face and whose cheeks were probably as red as cherries. Why the f am I that transparent? Geez.

After work, I was finally able to go the gym and I was surprised that I still managed to lose weight even after being MIA for a couple of weeks. Technically, I should be happy about it but I'm starting to worry if I have uncovered diseases or something. Argh, the inner hypochondriac in me is coming out again. But at least, I didn't gain any weight after my endless food fest last week.

On another note, I'm usually already asleep by this time but since it's my day off tomorrow, I can sleep as late as I want. What about you? How was the start of your week?

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Day 145: Inspiration

Adam Levine's music was a perfect way to start my day. It's still raining for the nth time this morning but it wasn't that hard to wake up early anymore. I was particularly hyped up to start my day knowing my crush would finally be present at work today. I know it's such an immature way of thinking but it won't hurt to have an inspiration every now and then. Somehow it helps me become more motivated to go to work everyday and that's a good thing, right?

Throughout the day, there were a couple of instances when we got near each other and I can't help feeling all 'kilig' inside. I know he's already taken and all but it's not like I'm seducing him or something. And why am I suddenly getting all defensive?haha. But in all seriousness, even though I like him, I wouldn't go as far as ruin a relationship or something. Unless, an opportunity presents itself. Hahaha! I kid, I kid!

Anyway, work was just about the same today. There was a slight tension with the other team on the floor because of them being too noisy and barbaric (for lack of a better term). That has been an ongoing issue but it just reached to a different level earlier today. Well, I'm not really part of the issue so I'll just let them be. After work, we went home immediately and I spent the rest of the afternoon until now burying myself in the world wide web.

Was your Sunday any better?

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Day 144: Of Terrorism and Disappointments

I just heard the worst possible news through Facebook today. My news feed was bombarded with posts about the recent bombing that happened in my hometown last night. Although none of my friends and family members were hurt but it was still the most horrendous thing that can happen especially to a once peaceful city, even dubbed as 'The City of Golden Friendship'. I know it's not right starting my post with such awful news but please help me pray for those who were injured and also for the safety of everyone in my hometown.

Anyway, let's talk about what happened today. I almost called off from work when I woke up to a very cold bed weather. It was so hard to separate myself from my bed when all I wanna do was snuggle and hid myself in the covers. Good thing my senses snapped to reality and I was able to finally force myself out of bed. Everything was doing well at work until before my lunch break. My friend told me that a guy from my team said really awful things about what I was wearing. And that started to ruin my day.

I tried my best to keep calm and just let it go but it was not the easiest thing to do. I could not help getting angry to the point that I wanted to lash out and cry. I was so silent during lunch that eventually my workmates noticed it. I was never good with confrontations and my overly used defense mechanism in situations like this was to keep it to myself and be mum about it as much as possible. It never occured to me to confront that certain person mainly because the tension would just be too much for me. Finally, one of my workmates decided to inform him how I felt about what he said and before the shift ended, the guy came to me and apologized.

I can never hold a grudge on anyone and as long as you say sorry sincerely, that's already enough for me. But that will forver leave a mark and it's something that I will never forget. After work, I attended mass with one of my friends and we went home after. That's when my roommate told me that aside from grinding my teeth during sleep two nights ago, I also laughed while I was asleep last night. It's a bit embarrassing especially when it gets noticed, I just hope it doesn't level up to sleepwalking or anything like that. Creepy!

Friday, July 26, 2013

Day 143: Away with Stress

HAPPY WEEKEND everyone! Though it's still a work week for me, I can always pretend, can't I?

Anyway, I was a little bit bummed at work today because there's too many changes going on and I can hardly keep up. I didn't get any incentives for the past two months and I think I'm not getting one this month as well because my scores are not doing that good. I know the month hasn't ended yet but I'm slowly letting go of that possibility just to prepare myself. The only consolation I got today was having to see my crush at work even if it's his day off. But I'm pretty sure he's not gonna be around tomorrow so that's gonna be a double bummer.

After work, I was supposed to go to the gym but I, honest to God (and forgive me for using his name in vain), forgot about it. I just stayed in the office for an hour chatting with my friends and I only remembered when I saw my shoes at the locker. Amd since it's already too late for me to drop by, I decided to go home and hold it off for tomorrow.

On a different note, I just found out that I have bruxism. It's a condition wherein you grind your teeth when you're asleep. I researched about it and one of the causes is stress. I knew about it when my roommate told me just a while ago. I definitely had no idea that I was doing such (I was asleep, duh) and I'm amazed and worried at the same time. This has got to stop or else I'll be scaring my roommates off in no time.

It's almost my bedtime now so I will not make this long. It's currently raining now as I'm writing this and had been for the past couple of days. Is it also the same on your part of the world?

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Day 141 and 142: Mind over Matter

Today is my Monday and as with all Mondays, I don't ever want to start it, wishing hard Friday would come faster. But as my mentor said, it's all a matter of mindset and so shall it be.

Work was pretty much the same today and I decided I would make it better with how I react to certain things that come along my way. Well, it wasn't easy especially when someone is shouting at you over the phone but it definitely helped in making things lighter and it's easier to laugh things off than brood over it. I'm just hoping that everything will translate to a good score tomorrow.

On a totally unrelated note, my crush finally smiled at me earlier at work. Of course, I looked like a retard trying to suppress being so 'kilig' but doing such a really bad job at it. But it's a start. And it fuels up my inspiration jar everyday so I guess it helps a little in dealing with everyday dramas. I'm also hoping I can go to the gym by the morrow since I've skipped going for almost two weeks now and I'm gaining so much weight it's ridiculous.

Speaking of weight, I've been indulging myself with non-stop food fest for almost a week now and I don't mean to sound like a bitchy weight conscious freak or cray-cray but it's definitely not healthy anymore. I'VE.GOT.TO.STOP! Just yesterday, after doing a major shoe clean-up, my friends wanted to hang out and eat Korean food and although I have the choice not to go, I just can't say no to them. After eating everything spicy, we needed to eat something sweet so off we went to Maitre Chocolatier, which served the most delicious fondue ever! I swear, I'm not a fan of anything too sweet but that place has changed everything and it has become an instant fave. I'm definitely going back there.

Anyway, it's almost the weekend for most of you, any plans?

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Day 139 and 140: Going French

Okaaaaay, so I just found out everything I've written last night have been completely wiped off because of crappy internet connection. It wasn't even saved in the drafts! Oh well, serves me well for being such a backlog queen. I hope my memory won't betray me this time.

Last Monday was my last day of work for the week which makes it technically my Friday, if you know what I mean. Having that said, my Monday night was spent in the company of friends over an ice cold bottle of beer. Work was a humdrum as always and there's no better way to cure such a stale environment than good food and booze. It was pizza and carbs and more carbs right after another and no room for regrets.

Although the place we went to just across my place almost got burned down (mildly exaggerating here) and we had to transfer to another place, we managed to have a good laugh out of it and enjoyed the rest of the night. I had to bail out early though because my eyelids were already pleading for rest and it pays to listen to your body once in a while. And because I came home late and the weather the morning after was unrelentlessly cold, I ended up separating from my bed late noon.

After taking care of some paperworks, I got together with some friends, this time to go French. We've been wanting to visit this quaint patisserie just a few blocks from home and it was about time we give in to our cravings. The place smelled nothing short of French goodies and I haven't seen so much wine in my twenty three years of existence. I'll post some of the photos once I get a hold of a computer (downside of having a tablet, ugh). It was definitely a good place to chill and I was so amazed I wanted to enroll myself in French classes at the school just beside the shop. What do you think?

We all went home after basking ourselves in everything French and we're already planning to go Korean the next day. I'm definitely looking forward to that!

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Day 138: Bed Weather

Happy Sunday everyone!

It's been raining for a couple of days now and I'm loving the cold weather more than ever (except for when my shoes get all muddy and the thunder gets so scary). I wasn't even in the mood to go to work early this morning because it was drizzling and it was just the perfect bed weather. Is it also raining on your part of the world?

Anyway, work was pretty laxed today. There weren't a lot of calls which means more time to chat with my friends. I always love sharing stories with these people because I really learn a lot from them. Although sonetimes, it can't be helped that green stories come out but it makes the conversation more interesting and fun. And one thing I've learned is to listen no matter how green the jokes are because you always learn something one way or another.

I was also able to keep in touch with le parents today and I'm missing them a lot this past few days. It's a good thing tgat they're doing really well and talking to tgem always makes me feel grounded. I just didn't mention that I wasn't able to go to church today mainly because I'd never hear the end of it. I haven't been able to attend mass for two Sundays in a row now and I really feel guilty. Hopefully, I'll be able to attend next Sunday.

What about you? Have you gone to mass today?

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Day 137: Missing my Weekends

It's a Saturday and I'm still working! Gaah! I haven't gotten myself used to my new schedule that I'm now even forgetting which day of the week it is. And I'm getting all bitter when weekends come and I still get to work and when it's my day off, everyone is busy working. I need my weekends back!

Alright, enough of my unnecessary tantrums and whining. Today was still pretty busy at work and we kinda' got used to our weekends having high avail time that it caught us off guard. Good thing we had a meeting for more than an hour so that was a good time to be off the phone. Also, there were issues with the tools we were using so we had to log out a couple of times. After work, I badly wanted to buy new shoes since I haven't bought myself any ever since the year started (well, aside from the gym shoes I bought weeks ago).haha.

After visiting a few stores, I was only able to buy a skirt which was not planned at all. Some of the shoe displays were either too expensive or too ugly so I decided to hold it off until my next payout. I had to budget my meager salary anyway.

What about you? Any plans for the weekend?

Friday, July 19, 2013

Day 136: Drained

My head feels like it's going to crack open anytime soon. It's aching and throbbing like I've just taken a very long exam without any breaks. I feel so exhausted and mentally drained. Usually, Fridays are not that busy at work but today, I felt like it was Monday all over again.

I'm already dreading my scores for tomorrow because I know that most of my calls were disputes and the customers were definitely not satisfied. All my positive energy was drained trying to argue and reason with the customers, it felt like there was no tomorrow. Aside from that, I also got so disappointed with my payout today. It was so meager I'm now having a hard time budgeting my expenses. Oh well, we gotta make do with what we have.

Anyway, I will not make this long, I'm gonna hit the sack anytime soon. I just hope everything will be better by tomorrow.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Day 135: Same old, same old

I'm back on track!! C'mon, not even an applause? No? Haha. I kid, I kid.

I really miss having to end my day writing and sharing bits and pieces of what-nots in this blog. This habit has become my sanity keeper for the past few months. And having that said, I think I've gone a little cray-cray over the past few days having no outlet to share to.

Anyway, enough of these nonsensical blahs. As per usual, I'm supposed to share something or anything that happened within the day today but looking back, I can't think of anything out of the racks. Although I came to work a wee bit early because of my plotted overtime but other than that, nada. I've been feeling a little bit stressed about work lately but then again, that happens almost everyday so nothing's really new to that. After work, I came home immediately and this time, I walked my way home. It's been a while since I've done that and I kinda' missed doing it.

It's gonna be another workday tomorrow. I just hope it would be a whole lot better than today. What about you? Was your Thursday way more interesting than mine?

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Day 123 to 134: Long Hiatus

I'm not even sure how to start this post. It's been a while since the last time I made one and I'm trying to remember everything that happened from then 'til now and I'm having such a really hard time. So, for this post, I will not be giving out a blow by blow account of everything that happened, just a general overview so that I could start fresh again.

Here are just some of the highlights of the things worth sharing. And yes, I'll be writing in bullets.

·My day off schedule has been changed from Sat-Sun to Tue-Wed and that will be the case until further notice. At first I thought it was a pain not having my off on a weekend but then it grew on me and I realized it's less stressful and days go by quickly, so I can't complain.

·I've also been able to go back to gym two days in a row now. Me and the gym kinda' have a love-hate relationship for a while now and I haven't really been faithful to it. I know it's not healthy but that's just the way it is. For sure, next week, we'll be back in the hate zone so let's just see how that goes.

·Unlike the gym, food and I never have a hate zone. It has always been my constant companion through ups and downs. I'm bringing this up mainly because I've been such a pig lately and I have no one else to blame but my friends (no, I'm not blaming myself). I've lost a considerable amount of weight and if I keep doing this for a couple of weeks, I'd definitely gain it back in no time.

·I also almost got a heart attack (okay, I'm exaggerating) earlier this week when my sister called and told me dad was rushed to the Emergency Room because of sudden pain in the chest. My dad has been suffering from hypertension for a while now but it's the first time he's been rushed to the hospital because of it. But it's all good now. He's been given some medications and my sister is monitoring his blood pressure from time to time.

·Speaking about matters of the heart, I also have something to share about that. I found out just a few days ago that my crush already has a girlfriend. Well, technically, I don't really mind because I'm not in love with him or anything like that but that's kind of like, the biggest turn off for me. I may be a little bitter about it but I can't let that get to me. Maybe I'll just find another inspiration or something.

I think that's about it. I'm still not done reading Kafka on the Shore, by the way. I know it's taking me longer than usual but I've been really busy lately and I only read portions of it during my free time. But I'm almost done with it so I'll just update you on that. Hopefully I'll be able to start doing the day to day post by tomorrow. So I'll see you then!

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Day 119 and 120: 23 and lovin' it!

The next day, we had to wake up early to catch our ten am flight. We rode the bus going to the airport and it was a pretty long ride. Still, HongKong's airport never cease to amaze me and good thing we arrived a little bit early because we still had the time to grab some breakfast. The plane took off late so when we arrived in Manila, we had to rush for lunch before my sister's flight back to CDO.

I was supposed to go with her but because of last minute schedule changes, I had to go to work on a Saturday, which means spending my birthday away from my family for the very first time. I arrived in Cebu early in the evening and I was so exhausted I had no patience for the traffic. By the time I got home, I was so dead beat I didn't even have time for dinner. My dad called and asked why I wasn't coming home for my birthday and I had to explain all over again.

I don't recall much afterwards, all I remember was waking up really late the next morning. I almost forgot it was my birthday if not for my dad's missed call. I then arranged to meet up with some friends for lunch and they were thoughtful enough to give me balloons. I even wore a maxi dress just because I felt like it. We then went to the mall to buy some groceries and since we didn't have anything better to do, we decided to head home.

For dinner, I decided to invite one of my roommates to eat at the restaurant just across the street. We realized then that ot was an open mic night and anyone was free to come up.on stage and sing a song as long as the pianist knows the chords. I jokingly asked my roommate to sing a song and dedicate it to me since it was my birthday. At first she was hesitant and didn't even know what to sing but after relentless badgering, she reluctantly said yes and went to the stage. And would you believe it, after she sang the first song, she immediately got an encore request from the aidience prompting her to sing another song. She was that good.

Not only that, after her second song, the pianist gave her his calling card and asked to keep in touch just in case she would be interested to sing there every other day. How awesome sauce is that? We were just laughing oir way out of the resto because evrything was just for fun and yet it turned out really good. All in all, it was just a very simple birthday celebration but it was definitely worth remembering.

Day 118: Favorite Place

For our second day in HongKong, our itinerary was The Avenue of Stars, Oceanpark and The Peak. The Avenue of Stars was just a ten-minute walk from where we were staying but since we had a toddler to think about, we decided to hail a taxi instead. Of course, the old taxi driver cannot understand a word we're saying, we had to go to a hotel and ask someone else. After a while, he finally understood and we arrived there in no time.

The Avenue of Stars has instantly become my favorite place once the driver dropped us off. Although it was scorching hot, it was the perfect place to chill out and read a book. It was one of the places I wish we had here in the Philippines without the pollution and all. Afterwards, we went to OceanPark via the most reliable train and we arrived just in time for the park's opening. I'll share to you some of our photos some other time because I'm just using my tablet.

We were supposed to go to The Peak and visit Madam Tassaud's but my sister got tired easily so we decided to head back to the city and visit Mong Kok to buy trinkets and pasalubongs. We went to tha Ladies' Market which was like our own version of Night Cafe way back home and they sell the cheapest shirts and keychains to bring back home. Once we bought everything we needed, I dropped my sister off to the guesthouse and decided to explore the streets of HongKong alone. I also went to the Museum of Art just near The Avenue of Stars and checked out China's history.

And since I had to buy food for my sister, I had to get back home before dinner and my feet was also about to give up from all the walking. All in all, we accomplished a lot on our second fay, although I would have wanted to visit The Peak but I guess, that's enough reason for me to go back then. Plus, I'm definitely visiting Macau the next time around!

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Day 117: Happiest Place on Earth

As promised, here's the photodiary of our second day in HongKong. Disneyland was on top of our itinerary and since we didn't have anyone to take us there, we has to learn how to use the subway and the train in order for us to get there. It was a little confusing at first but we got the hang of it after a while. As I say, HongKong is very tourist-friendly and with a little research beforehand, we got to the park even earlier than expected.

Snapped this one while we were on the train :)


Learning how to use the subway

We tried this restaurant for breakfast. Chinese people have a weird taste.haha
Finally, on our way to Disneyland! Yes, the train on the way there was of course, Disney-themed. Even the hand holders are shaped in Mickey's head!




I love this castle at the back!

Pic with the princesses. Belle was so pretty :)


It was too hot when we got there that we got exhausted after a while of walking but we cannot just pass on the parade. We eventually found  shady place which had a good view and I snapped my heart away. This is definitely one of the happiest places on earth!




The lovely princesses in their Swan float

Hey there, Tinkerbell!



After the parade, we decided to head on to Ngong Ping and try out their awesome cable car ride. When we got there, it was about to rain and it was so windy that it made the cable car experience even more thrilling. At the end of the ride, I went to see the Giant Buddha while my sister and Gab stayed in a nearby cafe.

Yes, Gab was asleep the entire time on the way there and we had to carry him all the time. Whew!





On the way to the Giant Buddha


After exploring the place, we headed back to Disneyland to buy some trinkets and then headed back home. It was very tiring but fulfilling all the same.

Don't forget to check out our Ocean Park experience in my next post! :)



Day 116: First Night in HongKong

Okay, okay, let's get back to business...said no one ever!haha.

After a very unexpected birthday celebration two days ago, I still find myself smiling while looking at the photographs. And I think it will take a long time before I get over it. So for the meantime, I'll fill you in with what happened during my MIA days.

Picking up where I left off, we woke up really early that Monday morning to prepare for a very long ride to the airport. Dad was the one who dropped us off and I think we got a little bit too excited because we arrived way too early for our flight. After checking in, we had to wait for a while before boarding and a couple of minutes after, we were off to Manila. A very good friend of mine went to the airport to meet us, which was a good thing because we haven't seen each other in a while. We decided to eat lunch just within the airport and he gave me my birthday gift in advance which was a bracelet he bought straight from Cambodia. And since he's been out of the country before, he walked us through the process and waited up until we were able to check-in.

And of course, our flight to HongKong got delayed for almost an hour. We were a little bit worried because the room we got at the guesthouse was only reserved up until nine in the evening and with the looks of it, we won't be arriving anywhere near that time. We had to contact the owner to delay the reservation for a couple of hours more. Finally, the aircraft arrived and it was time for us to board. There was a little turbulence during the flight because the typhoon that came from the Philippines apparently headed it's way to HongKong and it was even raining when we arrived so it took a long time before we finally landed.

While in the plane, I was already amazed with the scenery of HongKong by night. Their International Airport was huge so we had to ask where we could wait for the bus going to the city. And this I have to say, HongKong is very tourist-friendly. There were signs every step of the way and it was not hard to navigate at all. We boarded the bus a couple of minutes later and since it was already late at night, there was no traffic at all. We didn't even have to worry where we'll get off because even their buses provide information on which bus stop we were in. When we finally got off the bus at the intended bus stop, we had to ask where our guesthouse was located because it was quite difficult to find. We were able to check-in at approximately eleven o'clock in the evening and because we were too tired from the trip, we decided to lay off on exploring the streets and go to bed and rest instead.

Here's a couple of photos for this day:

Me and Gab at the bus

Poor thing got tired at the plane on the way to HK

All boarded and ready to go!

While waiting for the bus at the airport

Finally!
I wasn't able to take photos when we arrived at the airport because we were too busy trying not to get lost. LOL. Check out my next post for the real adventure!

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Day 123: A day to remember

I'm gonna skip a couple of days for this particular post because this just can't wait any longer. My happiness stretches to the moon and back and I don't even know how to begin. Sometimes, things really do happen when you least expect it, which makes it even more special and meaningful. I would really say this experience is definitely one for the books.

My birthday two days ago was not really a special one mainly because I spent it away from my family. Although I didn't have to go to work because I was on leave, I still didn't feel like celebrating. I spent the day with some of my closest friends from my workplace before, ate from a restaurant, shared some stories and that was about it. I had to go to work the day after but I wasn't really expecting anything from anyone at all. Of course, my teammates took the time to greet me and then the day just went on normally.

Today, however, is a totally different story. Everything was just how it's supposed to be on a typical work day up until after lunch. I was in my station waiting for a call to come in when suddenly everybody started singing a Happy Birthday song and when I turned my back, my ultimate crush was holding the cake while making his way to me. It was so surreal I didn't even know what to think or how to react, I was just smiling the whole time. Of course, the teasing and howling was all over the place, it felt like I was proposed to. Even by just writing this and recalling what happened, I can barely wipe off the smile on my face.

I know that my crush didn't really have anything to do with it since it was my teammates' master plan but nonetheless, it was really touching and sweet of them. Here are some of the photos from what happened:






If you're wondering about the Sir Chief thingy, it's a long story. I'll tell you more about it in a separate post. Is it too obvious that I got super kilig?haha Looks like I'll be sleeping soundly tonight. I hope you do too. :)

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Day 114-115: Going home

I knooooow, I have so many things to tell you. I've been away for a couple of weeks for a fairly good reason and I can't wait to share it to you! But first, I'm gonna begin with where I left off on my previous post just so that there will be no mixing up of events. And bear with me because I'm going to narrate everything like it's real time so it will be in present tense, just to make it clear.

Saturday, June 29
As mentioned, I wasn't able to book any tickets for yesterday so I had to stay in Cebu for another day, thereby missing my dad's birthday. My sister and my mom would have wanted me to go home earlier but I had no choice. I had to borrow money from a friend to be able to buy a ticket and fortunately, he was kind enough to lend some spare cash at such a short notice. I just had a hard time during the entire trip because there was a storm coming and it was so windy causing the boat to sway and dance like crazy. I hardly had any sleep at all because I was too worried the boat would topple over and sink anytime. I was trying my best not to throw up the whole time. Thank God everything went back to normal as we were nearing the harbor otherwise I wouldn't be able to hold it in much longer.

Sunday, June 30
Finally, the torture was over and I arrived safely in my hometown early in the morning. My parents even waited for me to arrive before going off to work. And I was finally able to eat 'real' food which is really one of.the things I miss the most. The entire day was just spent together with my sister shopping around for things needed for our HK trip. We went to mass late in the afternoon and headed home right after to pack up. Sleeping late wasn't an option because we had to wake up early. The airport has been moved to a much farther place and we had to estimate traffic time as well. I also wanted to sleep early to avoid talking to my mom. It's not like I don't want to talk to her, it's just that I'm tired of her badgering me about spending money wisely and all that stuff. I'm pretty sure you get what I'm saying, right?

Anyway, I'll hold off the rest of my posts for tomorrow. Don't worry, I'll catch up. ;-)

Friday, June 28, 2013

Day 113: Guilty

And I'm still in Cebu.

I was supposed to leave for CDO tonight but the pay I was waiting for was a no show so I was forced to move my trip for tomorrow. And I have never felt so guilty because I'm not only gonna go MIA on my dad's birthday but I also told a white lie behind the reason why I was not going home tonight. Let's just say, I told my mom a different story because I know she'd flip out knowing I didn't really save anything during the past year I was working. Well, she didn't have to know that and I wouldn't want her stressing out in giving me a lecture on saving money and all that. But I'm still a little bothered about it though. And I'm slowly hating my sister for being such a tell-all.

I'm also hoping the tropical depression will not affect my trip especially that I'll be on a boat and I imagine all sorts of things not worth imagining all the time. I don't know, everytime I have a scheduled trip, there's always a storm coming and I always get stressed out. Please help me pray for a safe trip tomorrow and for the next few days. Anyway, I will not be making this long. I'm pretty tired too so I'll be hitting the sack soon. Are you having any plans for this weekend?

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Day 112: G-R-R-R!

Three more days and I'm outta here! Woot! And yes, we already have a place to stay in when we get to HongKong. Now, it's all about planning where to go and how to get there. My sister and I are not really good with directions so there's a huge porobability we'll get lost one way or another but I'll take my chances. I personally think that it's better like this (I mean, not relying on an agency) because aside from the fact that we own our own time, we will be able to explore Hongkong better. As they say, you will never learn the tradition and culture of others unless you immerse yourself with their everyday activities. Am I right?

Anyway, work was pretty much the same today. There weren't too many calls so it was pretty relaxing in a way. What stressed me the most was what happened after work. I went home immediately once I got out of the office and when I got home, my roommate was already there and she wanted to go to the mall near our office because she was craving for something sweet. I was silently hoping I'll see my crush once we pass by the office and lo and behold, there he was outside, waiting for someone. We purposefully got out of our way to pass by him and I smiled but I seriously think I looked like a retard because it was like a half smile and a half weird look that I get when I'm nervous.

And for the record, he didn't smile back at all and it broke my heart. I guess I'll be avoiding him all day tomorrow. Ugh, if you only saw how flustered I was, you would've thought I'd pass out any minute. I've never been so good at hiding my feelings which made it even worse. Thank God I'll be on leave next week so I won't have to see him for a while. I think the butterflies in my stomach just turned into bees and swarmed me with humiliation. Ugh!

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Day 111: Late notice

We're leaving for HongKong in less than a week and we have no hotel reservations yet. My sister and I are now panicking because she just recently decided not to avail of travel agencies and just do the tour all by ourselves. That's what I've been telling her before but she didn't wanna hear me out so now we have no idea where we're going to stay. There's this hotel that I found on the internet which offers really low room rates and is very accessible for transportation but I'm not really so sure if our request for a reservation would be accomodated since it's already on a late notice.

Anyway, my day wasn't really that good. There were a lot of irate callers and I'm already dreading my scores for tomorrow. I'm just hoping for a miracle now. And speaking of work, I'd say it's pretty good to have an inspiration when you're in the office. The guy I've been telling you about has been really lighting up my mornings and honestly, I so wanted to talk to him and get to know him but I just can't! I know, I'm pathetic like that.

On another note, I'll be leaving for Cagayan de Oro on Friday by boat. I've decided it's better if I travel with my sister to Manila so she wouldn't have such a hard time bringing Gab along. And besides, it's my dad's birthday this Saturday and I wanted to celebrate with him as well. Looks like I'm gonna be missing my team's very first outing which I really wanted to go to but considering the circumstances, I think I've made the right decision.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Day 110: Hopeless Romantic

You know, I just have to share this before I go about prancing on how my day went. I think, maybe, the guy I shared to you yesterday and how I feel about him is just my way of personalizing this character I am in love with in a TV series. How awfully lame is that? And I've also realized that because I wanted so much to get into relationship, I am already getting way ahead of things and I'm forming my own delusional thoughts based on nothing. I don't know, I guess I just have to breathe for a while and give myself a break from being such a hopeless romantic. I know it's not healthy but sometimes I just can't help it. I think maybe I need a shrink. Haha! I kid, I kid!

Anyway, my day started out really great. I was greeted with a message that my one week leave has been approved and I couldn't be any happier. Of course it's an unpaid leave but I'm good with that. I wouldn't trade anything for this trip, so yeah. There were a few bumps along the highway of taking calls but generally, it was a good day. I just hope it would translate to my numbers by tomorrow. After the shift, I ate with a friend for a while and the topic of romance was inevitable. It was probably one of the most sensible and mature talks I've had in a while and it feels good to be able to do that.

What about you? How was your Tuesday?

Monday, June 24, 2013

Day 109: Times like this

Today is one of those days when I can't help but feel particularly desolate and lonely. I know it's just hormones but it's crazy how, with just writing this, I'm already on the verge of bawling my eyes out. How is that even possible? Stupid tear ducts!

As I've mentioned a million times on this blog, I'm not really in a rush to get into a relationship. I'm young and I know I should enjoy being single. I can go where I wanna go and be who I wanna be without someone telling me otherwise. But, and with a very big BUT, I can't help but feel lonely and jealous of those people who are in a relationship. And I feel that now, more than ever.

I don't wanna get into the details of it but I just feel like there's something or someone missing in my life. And watching romantic movies, letting myself be fooled by happy ever afters, does not help at all. I keep thinking that maybe I'm not ready yet or he's not ready or maybe the time is just not right yet. And worse, I keep thinking maybe I was meant to live alone and then comes self-pity and all that crap teasing me in my most vulnerable state. How convenient is that?

Anyway, there's something I've been meaning to share to you since last week. There's this guy (I know, almost every problem starts with that sentence) who I work with in the office. We don't really know each other but I find him really attractive and he looks like he smells good every single day. The thing is that, and I don't even know why I'm stressing about this, he's kinda' old. Well, not really old old but he's way older than me. But I feel like there's something there, which is how I feel about every other guy I really like, so I don't really trust myself that much. The point is, I really like him but I have no idea how to get to know him without making the first move (fck those morally accepted norm). I don't know. I guess I'm just messing with my head again and I'm getting way over myself so I'll drop the subject now. I'll talk tou you about it when I'm more sane than now.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Day 108: Sunday's Best

It seems like my body clock has finally adapted to waking up early in the morning. During weekends when I have all the right to sleep late and wake up even later, my mind and body seem to protest and I end up opening my eyes in the wee hours of the morning like it was wired to, and I can never go back to sleep again. I'm not complaining though (well, maybe a teensy bit) but I figured it's an advantage anyway because I get to do a lot of things instead of obligingly being lazy.

With that being said, I woke up at seven in the morning today even if I slept very late last night, though I officially got up at nine (yes, the rolling and tossing and turning and debating whether I should get up or not took two long hours.haha) with the bottle of beer being the first thing that caught my eye when I woke up. I didn't finish all of it but I felt really good after a couple of sips. And I rarely drink, if you may notice. I don't know, I just felt like it was the best thing to do on a Saturday night (c'mon, I know you had those moments too).

I figured it might rain in the afternoon so I had no choice but to get up and get dressed for the mass. The priest's sermon was pretty long but it was very insightful, to say the least. I then took my lunch and had my usual reading session at the coffee shop. I'm almost halfway reading Murakami's Kafka on the Shore but I couldn't stay long because it was getting too crowded and noisy so I decided to go home after an hour. And now I'm wide awake because when I got home, I dozed off and slept for more than two hours. I guess someone's sleeping late again tonight.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Day 105 to 107: Weekender

I have so many things to tell you, I'm not even sure where and how to start. I know I went MIA for a couple of days, I have all the valid reasons why and mostly because of exhaustion and burnout from work. And I would like to apologize in advance because I might miss sharing some important things that could've happened in the past three days. I honestly can barely remember anything.

So let's start with Thursday, which is at the same time, our payday. All I can remember was that I came home late because I decided to go to the gym with a friend thereby forfeiting my plotted overtime (which I got reprimanded on, the day after). By Friday, I was more than excited to end the week but found out later on that I was scheduled an overtime, for the second time now, against my will. I was left with no choice but to render and at the end of the shift, I resorted to binge eating to get rid of stress and burnout, which also explains why I got home late and made love to the bed right after getting home. And by the way, before I forgot, my debit card got captured by the ATM machine after using it because I forgot to get the card on time. I had to wait until Saturday since the bank was already closed.

Now, today was a very good day to me. Still, I had to render my pre-plotted overtime early in the morning but little did I know that today is also the same day I'll find my inspiration at work. Well, technically, I already saw him before but today, I finally got to have an interaction with him and I felt all those caterpillars are slowly becoming butterflies in my stomach again. I'll spare you all those high school-ish whatever but this is definitely not the end of it. Anyway, after my shift, I had to wait for two hours more to get my debit card, got myself a take-out and went home directly. I stayed for a while and by three pm, I got myself ready for a massage together with my friends. I personally thought I paid too much moeny for the massage but I guess I really needed it after all. When I finally got home, I treated myself to an ice cold beer to finally end the night.

P.S. My sister's husband will not be going with us to Disneyland anymore because of a conflict with his schedule. So it's only gonna be me, my sister and Gab. Good Luck to us.haha

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Day 104: Travel with me?

Finally, I was able to wake up early today without going through the hassle of debating with myself whether I should get up or not. I guess I'm pretty excited. It's approximately ten days more before my trip and I'm just itching to get on a plane away from all these stress. I haven't been anywhere to spend my summer so hopefully this will make up for it.

Also, almost everyone at work has been planning to go out of town next weekend. As much as I would want to go, I'm afraid I would have to pass for now. I wanna save up for my trip as much as possible. But, once I get back, I might go to Dumaguete and visit the place since a friend of mine happens to have connections there. I've been wanting to go to that place for a long time now and I can't say no to it. I know I've been planning to resign but with all these traveling I have yet to accomplish, looks like I may have to stay a bit longer.

I'm just hoping the weather would cooperate with all of my travel plans for this month. Rain has been a constant visitor for almost two weeks now and the weather is more bipolar than ever. I was also planning to visit Vietnam by the end of the year but it has been pushed aside for now because one of my friends who's coming with me can't go out of the country until March of next year. Anyway, Vietnam can wait.

Do you have any travel plans for this year too?

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Day 103: Difficult mornings

Today, I experienced what was probably one of the most difficult mornings I've ever had. I had no problems waking up, no, my body has gotten used to waking up early in the morning even if it's my rest day. The problem is the getting-out-of-bed part and thinking if I should go to work or not. This has been an ongoing issue for a couple of days now and I have yet to find out how I could do away with this feeling. I've read and listened to a couple of motivational words about controlling how your mind works and having a positive mindset to start your day right but it's just NOT working for me. I hope I get to fix this soon or else, I'm gonna become miserable.

Anyway, there's nothing extraordinary that happened today at work. Some people just kept badgering me about the reason why I wasn't around the other day and since I didn't want to talk about it, I just diverted their attention to something else. Eventually, they got the hint amd dropped it. Good thing was, I did get another GC from Starbucks for the second time in a row now, which really made me happy. Recognitions like that is a lift-me-upper especially if you're having a bad day. But aside from that, everything was just how it should be.

What about you? How was your Tuesday?

Monday, June 17, 2013

Day 102: Homesick

Right at this moment while I'm writing this, I have thr strongest urge to drink liquor. No, I'm not gonna get myself drunk, just enough to ease the stress away. If only it was allowed to bring liquor inside the house and I was not that lazy to go out and buy one, I would have been drinking an ice cold beer by now. I'm also itching to get myself a tattoo, weighing every now and then if I should take the risk of getting strangled by dad when he finds out. It's not like I'm going to ink every part of my body, just a tiny teeny tattoo on my back would do.

Anyway, I skipped work today, without originally planning to. I woke up early, showered, and got dressed only to find myself stuck in bed minutes before my shift. I decided to call off from work mainly because I got too homesick. My boss even called me and asked if it was possible for me to come in half day but I just can't. I know that I would just suck at work if I did. And so I ended up spending the day listening to motivational talks from speakers all over the world--yes, there is an app for that--and reading Murakami's Kafka on the Shore. I still have a long way to go before I finish it, and then I'm off to Norwegian Wood afterwards.

The feeling of homesickness has also led me to think about going home after my short trip to HongKong. I could maybe get a job there, nothing fancy, just so that I could be with my family. It's not final yet but I'm definitely gearing towards it. I'll keep you updated on that.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Day 101: Daddy's Day

First of all, Happy Father's Day to your dad and to all the cool daddy-yo's out there! Although I am still deciding if this particular day was just a marketing strategy for Hallmark to sell out their cards (because birthday and anniversary cards are not selling as much as they used to), I'm still beyond thankful because I would never have been born in this world if not for my dad. And he deserves to be appreciated everyday not just on a single day of the year. Since I'm away from home, I made sure I called my dad first thing in the morning to greet him.

Anyway, today I get to wake up late because it's my rest day. I spent the entire morning tossing and turning in bed and I got to organize and beautify my tablet. I am more than fascinated with all the useful apps out there and I practically downloaded more than a dozen of 'em. And because my Sunday wouldn't be complete without going to a coffee shop to read a book, I took advantage of the free GC from Starbucks that I got from work earlier this week. I drowned myself with a Venti of Java Chip and a fattening whipped cream while waiting for a friend whom I haven't seen for a long time.

For me, Sundays are best spent alone with a book or catching up with a friend. I was more than delighted to hear stories and updates from a very good friend and it seems like the universe was in our favor because after a while, it rained like there's no tomorrow giving us more time to spend with each other. The only thing was, I wasn't able to go to mass because when the rain stopped, I went home immediately fearing the rain would come back, which didn't. I know it's not an excuse and I'm not proud but I'm gonna make it up next Sunday, I promise.

What about you? How was your Sunday?

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Day 100: Man of Steel

Can you believe it's been a hundred days since I started this out? And to think I didn't even expect to reach the tenth day. This definitely calls for celebration! Woot!

When I come to think of it, I did treat myself a little today. Although I had to wake up extra early to work on my rest day, I still had a lot of fun. I almost wanted to bail on my plotted schedule because it was so difficult to separate from my bed at four in the morning. If it was just me, I would have thrown off my alarm and continue on sleeping but I promised one of my friends that I would be there so I was left with no choice. Good thing was that because it is a Saturday, there were only a few calls who came in and three hours passed by so quickly.

After work, we went to the gym which was close to empty. Most of the agents are on their day off so we had the gym all to ourselves. We planned on watching Man of Steel right after but there were no more seats available until three in the afternoon. There was a company who reserved the entire theatre for the first full show to all of their employees and we couldn't afford to wait for three hours so we decided to go to another mall. We arrived there just in time for the first full show and it was not even that crowded. I haven't seen a movie in a while so it was really a good way to destress myself.

And since I started the day really early today, I'm gonna be off to bed in a while. Tomorrow's gonna be Father's day already. Are you planning anything for your dad?

Friday, June 14, 2013

Day 99: Drama Queen

I don't know how to start this post. I have been paralyzed with different kinds of negative emotions from watching a local drama series which I have been an avid follower of for a long time now. I know it's weird how I get so affected with this kind of stuff but I really can't help it sometimes. And being of the feminine side, it doesn't take me a hard beating to get emotional, it's like one of our hidden superpowers with which we have a love-hate relationship every now and then.

Aside from that, I have been very stressed lately because of work. I renderred overtime again after shift and tomorrow, I have to wake up early because my shift starts at 6 in the morning. Who would have thought I would get enticed with the incentives for getting an overtime on my rest day instead of actually 'resting'. If not for my my trip, I wouldn't give into it but for now, I have to.

On another note, if you remember my post yesterday, I was dreading going to work today because of the possibility of getting a very low score. It turns out all of my worries were futile because my scores were not that bad. I even received a Starbucks gift certificate because I did well last Monday. It's not much but it's a really good thing to be appreciated for all the efforts I've exerted. I just hope this will all work out in the end.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Day 98: Outlier

I'm dreading tomorrow. I'm dreading tomorrow. I'm dreading tomorrow.

I know we're not supposed to worry about the future and that worry is just a negative and useless energy BUUUUUT I cannot freakin' help it! I had the worst calls today and I'm pretty sure (and I hope I'm wrong) that I will get a very low score by tomorrow. I'm even on the verge of quitting just because I hate the feeling that I'm pulling our team down because of my stats. Being an outlier is a poisoned apple to a competitive person (at least that is how it is for me) I wish everything was just as easy as 1-2-3.

Anyway, I'm not gonna make this long because I'm really beat up and my entire being is gonna crash soon. One good news though is that I was able to go to gym today. I didn't render any OT so I was able to visit the gym after work. Tomorrow is gonna be another day and I hope I get to do better in my calls.

P.S. 17 days to go until HK! I.cannot.contain.my.excitement!!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Day 97: Setting Standards

The past two days have been awfully busy for me, one of the reasons why I wasn't able to write anything. And when I come to think about it, I'm the only one inflicting this kind of stress on myself. If you haven't guessed it yet then I wouldn't make it any harder for you. I have been renderring an hour post shift overtime at work for the laat two days now and my stress level is already too high I'm afraid I might fall and shatter all that's left in me. Okay, okay, that was a little too dramatic but you get my point. If I didn't need the money, I wouldn't be slaving myself for this.

And you know what's worse? I haven't been very healthy anymore. I've gone back to my old habits of not eating anything for breakfast and then drowning myself with unhealthy food by dinner. I haven't done any exercise for almost a week now and because I go home late, I'm forced to commute instead of walking my way home. I can feel all the pounds I've lost for the last couple of weeks adding up again. Oh well, we all gotta sacrifice one thing in favor of the other. And for now, my priority (as shallow as it sounds) is money so I'll have to stick with it for now.

Anyway, on a totally different topic, I've been thinking a lot about relationships for the past couple of days. It's nothing out of the ordinary but I've been learning bits and pieces from my colleagues at work about their experiences and I would have to say, before this day ends, we should always know and keep in mind what we deserve. It's not wise to rush into things and settle for something less than what you should be getting. We only live once and we can't live that life wasted on relationships which doesn't do us any good in the first place, don't you think? As what a famous actress said on her wedding day, "You can set your standards high and trust God will give you that standard". I couldn't agree more.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Day 96: All too personal

I think I'm going to HK on July really really broke. I've been trying to cut off my expenses the past few days but it's just not working out for me. The more I restrict myself from spending on unnecessary things, the more I get tempted to shell out. What is wrong with me??

Anyway, as mentioned in my previous post, a lot of students have returned from their vacation and I was hoping it woudn't get too rowdy last night but all my hopes were flushed down the drain. I had a difficult time sleeping because the boyfriends were there and everyone was just so hyped up with their first day of classes. I mean, I know I can't complain because I already know right from the start this is all part of the package when I moved in but it wouldn't hurt for them to be considerate too once in a while.

But even if I didn't have a very good sleep, I woke up pretty excited for the day. I even decided to wear my royal blue maxi dress which I rarely wear. I don't know, I was just feeling a little bit too perky, which is necessarily not a bad thing. It's a Holiday in Australia today since most of them are celebrating the Queen's birthday, except for Western Australia so I was looking forward to a high avail time which is what happened. And I took advantage of it by getting to know my colleagues on a personal level.

I'm not sure if it's a good thing but as I get to be more at ease with the people at work, I tend to be more confident in asking them questions about their personal life. I really like hearing about other people's stories because the things that I learn about them that I haven't learned before always amazes me. We had a new seating arrangement today and the person I was seated next to was not really close to me so she became the object of my incessant questioning. And I learned a lot about her in eight hours than in the month and a half that we've been working together.

And because of my inherent curiosity, I spent more than I should and I went home later than usual. But no regrets, I had fun anyway. Was your Monday any different to mine?