tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45728688942175111312023-10-19T03:46:35.488-07:00Musings of a Wide-eyed Wondergirlbianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.comBlogger260125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-32496252582578736932020-07-13T11:26:00.000-07:002020-07-13T11:26:05.600-07:00Prelude0215am. Can't sleep. Dark thoughts. Peaking Anxiety. Restless. Hungry.<br />
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First time writing in a long time to remedy the chaos and to escape the frailty of the soul. There are too many things going on in my mind it's almost a sin to know where to start. I hold on to whatever faith I have left and crossing my fingers it will save me one more time. One last time.<br />
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<br />bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-66056410848380208712014-01-16T23:34:00.001-08:002014-01-16T23:34:46.032-08:00To Love and New BeginningsI'm in love. Yes, you read that right. What a way to start the new year huh? It's been months since I've written anything decent and it's safe to say that I've been busy. In my previous post months ago, I've shared to you about a certain someone who has been putting color into my life and making all the butterflies in my stomach go berserk and making me believe everything they portray in stories and poems and songs about love, but I never divulged anything more than that. I think that now, I'm ready more than ever.<br />
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For one thing, cliche as it seems, he came unexpectedly into my life, hating--no, despising him even before I met him. How that happened is kind of a long story so I'll keep the sanctity of that for now. I admit everything happened so fast and it was definitely a whirlwind of emotions when we started the relationship. He was way way below the standards I've put up for myself and he was the last guy I would think of dating, admittedly because of his social status.<br />
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But my expectations and standards, my preconceived ideals of a man, all of that were thrown out of the window. This guy was funny and he made me laugh all the time. Being the most negative person there is, he taught me how to look at the positive side of anything and everything. He's annoying most of the time and we don't agree on a lot of things but one thing was certain, I was willing to go through anything with this guy. He puts God above anything else and that's the kind of person I need in my life.<br />
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Many would say never to give everything you have when it comes to love. And I say why the hell not? We only live once and I wouldn't want that to be the greatest regret I'll have on my deathbed. Sure, you will definitely get hurt, might lose yourself in the process of it but if it's not the right person and he breaks everything there is to break in you, then he definitely does not deserve you. But if you're lucky enough to have given everything for the right person, it will all be worth it.bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-69543783082048224632013-10-12T18:37:00.003-07:002013-10-12T18:37:42.467-07:00Day 190-224: Change is ConstantIt's funny how the course of one's life can turn into a full 360 in just a short period of time. I'm amazed at how the subtle events that happen every single day becomes a whole new experience after a month, even so after a year. You might be wondering why I'm suddenly throwing these partially obvious realities to you after more than a month of absence, which I am deeply apologetic of. Well, you will not believe the changes that happened in my life in just one month. Okay, maybe it's not that drastic when you get to read about it but it is to me, so allow me to share about it.<br />
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As you know, I'm back in my hometown now working for <i>le parents</i> for the meantime. It's not the ideal setting that I would've wanted but since my sister will be leaving for Canada, I have to take over her roles in helping with the family business---that was the original plan. But then when my sister got back from Canada after a week of staying there, she suddenly decided she didn't wanna work there and would rather run a business of her own. I know, I know what you're thinking, I've been there too. How could she throw such opportunity away? Mind you, I have a lot (and that is even an understatement) of questions I wanted to bombard her with.<br />
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Apart from that, I felt so betrayed because of her audacity to make such decisions without considering the life that I left in Cebu for all of this. So my parents decided to give one of the family business to both of us and we'll manage it together, which means, I will never be able to go back to Cebu to work again, I'm not really sure what I feel about what's happening but if there's one thing I learned, it's to never fight what's inevitable. Of course, I always have the option no to accept their proposal but I've thought about it and maybe there is a reason for all of this and we'll just see how everything will turn out.<br />
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Also, I've been blessed romantically speaking when I came back here. I refuse to share what's happening on that aspect for the meantime but what I can say is that I am really happy. And I hope it stays that way. I promise I'll share it with you once I get the courage to do so. I'll update you with everything that's happening from time to time, although I can't promise anything. Thank you for reading though. :)bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-49499872282459089292013-09-09T08:18:00.000-07:002013-09-09T08:21:31.448-07:00Day 182 to 189: Not Ready YetAs of the moment, I'm stressing about a humongous pimple on my right shoulder which I accidentally scratched, thus making it look even bigger than it already is. I (excuse the French) fucking hate it. Okay, I know how random that was but I just can't get over it. Anyway, spare me the rolling of eyes, I'm not going to make an excuse for my absence anyway. I haven't been able to write for more than a week now but despite the long absence, I don't have much to say.<br />
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Well, there are a couple of change in habits brought about by the changes that happened recently. I don't go to the gym anymore simply because I don't have the luxury and the resources anymore but I still do my exercises at home every other day. There's also lesser time for me to go out with friends because 1. my friends are way too busy with their lives (no pun intended) and 2. Sunday is my only rest day. Yes, you read that right. Since the family is running a business, we are open 7 days a week, only on Sunday I am given the option of not showing up. </div>
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It's a little bit draining and I'm not used to it especially the fact that I work for my parents and I live under their roof so I am forced to live under their sometimes-absurd-and-not-really-fair house rules. And I'd be lying if I say that I don't miss my independent life because I do, more than you know. But we all have to make sacrifices so I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. As they say, the only difference between a good and a bad day is your attitude towards it. So I'm choosing positive vibes all the way!</div>
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And not that it's anything important but someone's courting me right now and I don't know what to make of it. Not to brag or put him off but he's a little bit out of my league, for lack of a better term. He clearly has a long way to go in terms of improving and making a name for himself so I'm thinking this is not yet the best time for the both of us, although I haven't told him that yet. I'll just update you about it.</div>
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Anyway, I will not make this long. I'll be off to dreamland in a while. I am not yet so sure when the next post will be, let's just hope it'll be sooner. Thanks for reading you guys, I'll talk to you soon. Tata!</div>
bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-24203799667102173832013-09-01T06:54:00.001-07:002013-09-01T06:54:21.734-07:00Day 170-181: Crossed Off The List11 days. It's been than long since my last post. And during those days, I was and still am grappling the changes that's currently happening in my life right now. It's a bit unnerving and I'm kind of in a love-hate relationship with the situation that I'm in. Most days I am more than certain I've made the right decision and some days, I wrack my head with an explanation of those decisions in the first place. Well, we all have those days. One thing I'm certain though, I know I may be at a loss right now but I'll get there. I'll figure things out and everything will be just as how it should be. <div>
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I'm currently writing at home in my hometown. During the past 11 days, I've been to Cebu to get the rest of my things and then back home again. I think I've been on a plane too much this year that I could almost memorize some of the crew and staff that I travel with. Anyway, I was only in Cebu for a day, also just in time for my favorite band to visit Cebu. Okaaaay, you got me. I intentionally went back to Cebu for that reason. I cannot pass the opportunity to see them play live so I booked a ticket right away and yes, that's another one crossed off my to-do list. I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty proud of myself for achieving so much this year in terms of my bucket list. Of course, there's still a lot more to go but as I said, I'll get there.</div>
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On another note, I may not be able to update as much as before mainly because I have a lot more things to do compared to the internet-work-internet-work lifestyle that I had before, so I tend to forget most of the time. Just like what happened during the past days. But I'll really try my best. </div>
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Anyway, I will not make this long. I'm gonna be off to bed in a while so I'll just talk to you then. :)</div>
bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-26553481047794516722013-08-21T05:45:00.000-07:002013-08-21T06:03:07.234-07:00Day 164-169: Leap of FaithWow. I didn't realize it's almost a week since I posted an entry here. Where did time go? <br />
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Anyway, I have so many things to say and there's too much that happened during the time I was away so I'll try to remember everything as much as I can. So yes, this will be a lengthy one. And this is gonna get dramatic too so I'm giving you a heads up. <br />
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First things first. I am officially jobless as of today. I finally filed for resignation last Monday and although I wasn't in the company for long, I have already met a lot of beautiful people and have made a couple of friends which doesn't make leaving any easier. And since it was my last day of work last Monday, some of my friends threw their own version of despedida party for me and I was deeply touched. Although it was just over cheap food and karaoke, what made it special was the company of the people that I never thought would come. I may never see them again but they will always hold a place in my heart. <br />
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Second. After almost two years of living independently in Cebu, I'm going back home for good. It pains me to leave such a beautiful place with amazing people who taught me a lot about life and the complexities of it. It was during my stay here that I was taught how to be free and it was instilled in me that I only live once and that I should enjoy every bit of it. Some people wouldn't understand my decision of turning away from my profession for something uncertain but I don't and never will have any regrets about it. You will always be my second home, Cebu. <br />
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Third. In lieu of me leaving, I will be taking over new roles and responsibilities and I'm nudging myself into the unknown again. Even if it makes everything so much harder, we all have to move on and take a leap of faith and trust that God has more amazing plans than we can ever come up with. Of course, the fear is there and I'm always on the crossroads standing with a big question mark on my face. I'm not even entirely sure if this is what I'm supposed to do. But there's only one thing I'm sure of; that He will be with me all the way so long as I trust him. And I do. I always will. <br />
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Fourth. Okay, let's make things lighter this time. Because I will leaving in a few days time, I had to check of some of my to-do lists that I have kept putting off during the past year. Being an extreme adventurer, I finally tried out Crown Regency's Edge Coaster, Skywalk and 4D Theatre yesterday. And because my friend had connections, we were able to enjoy everything with 75% off the original price! It was the perfect way to see the city from afar and definitely an experience that's one for the books. <br />
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Fifth. Another one crossed from my checklist was getting myself pierced. I've always wanted to get a piercing at the upper cartilage of my ears but I was always paralyzed by fear. And today, I'm proud to say that I've finally conquered that fear. It turned out the pain was just tolerable and I was just overacting before. Sometimes, it pays not to overthink everything and just go with it. <br />
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Alright, I think I have covered everything that I wanted to say so I will not make this longer than it already is. I'll be leaving for CDO hopefully by Friday and I have a whole lot of packing to do from now until then so my next post might be when I'm already back home. Thanks for reading, you guys!bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-28902857885516638842013-08-15T08:50:00.000-07:002013-08-15T08:53:10.154-07:00Day 162-163: IdleIt's almost midnight here on my side of the world which means that it's almost bed time for me. I make it a point I at least get eight hours of sleep every night so depending on my shift the next day, I make up my own bed time curfew (if there is such a thing). <br />
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You may have noticed I didn't make an entry for yesterday and no, I didn't forget this time. I actually did it on purpose for the main reason that I was a total pig yesterday. I just stayed at home all day, only bothering to stand up to shower and to feed myself. Having that said, I didn't see any logical reason for me to make a post out of nothing so I didn't. <br />
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And it seemed the idleness I felt got carried over the next day, which is today, that I almost called off from work. But I decided otherwise knowing I only have a few days left to work before I resign. Actually, I don't have much to say because the same routinary activities happened and well yeah, that's basically it. After work, we originally wanted to go to the gym but my friend bailed out since she was having a major physical concern (for lack of a better term) and I didn't want to go alone so we ended up eating and going home right after. <br />
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Well, tomorrow's another day and I'm not sure if I will have the same strength and will to go to work but I'll really try my best. Wish me luck!bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-80627548754803653652013-08-13T22:23:00.003-07:002013-08-13T22:27:49.770-07:00Day 161: Lift-Me-UpperI was supposed to write and publish this last night but my inter connection was having tantrums and just wouldn't cooperate so I had no choice. Ugh, third world dramas. <br />
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Anyway, yesterday was fun. I badly needed a lift-me-upper so my friend dragged me to the mall and I finally got my eyebrows threaded for the very first time. I know it's not such a big deal for some people who do it often and it's a little embarrasing I only got to try it now but for a first timer like me, it was like subjecting myself to torture. I know I probably sound like I'm overreacting but it was really so painful I cried afterwards. I'm now having second thoughts about getting a tattoo.haha. I kid, I kid. I'm still getting one but not now. <br />
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After all the pain I went through, my eyebrows looked so much better so I could say it was worth it. We then ate truckloads of food after. I had to have a dose of my favorite Cookies 'n Cream drink then we tried out the Famous Belgian Waffle which we have been eyeing out for a while now but always got discouraged because of the long queue. Luckily, there weren't a lot of people when we passed by so there was no excuse for us this time. I tried their Banana Hazelnut and my friend had the Blueberry Creamcheese which was really really good. This could be a good business venture when I get back home, don't you think? <br />
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Speaking about home, I'll be leaving Cebu in a couple of days and I want to make the most out of it. I've always wanted to try the skywalk at a nearby hotel and luckily, my friend knows someone there who offered us half the price! How cool is that? We might go and try it out next week so I'm pretty excited. Crossing my fingers it'll push through!bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-30218703592602703592013-08-12T07:12:00.002-07:002013-08-12T07:15:48.106-07:00Day 160: Down In The DumpsI was and still am seriously in a battle against separation anxiety today. If you must know, I called off at work today without any particular life-threatening reasons at all. But of course, I had to make an alibi for my downright laziness and under the weather dramas, which in my case was, a bad case of dysmenorrhea. They prolly know I was lying and we've all done that in one way or another so there's no point of judging me here. I'm just human. We all are. <br />
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So yeah, I've been down in the dumps the whole day, just staying in bed and drowning in a whirlwind of endless youtube videos, only getting up to take a shower and eat. Thank God my sometimes crappy internet connection wasn't all that crappy today. There are too many things running through my mind and I try to keep myself busy in order not to think. I just want to not think for a while and just breathe and feel nothing. I know, I'm feelling all sorts of weirdness and anxiety about the upcoming changes in my life. And thinking about it scares the crap out of me. <br />
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Ugh, I know I have to get out of the house to get me some lift-me-uppers. I wanna go for a run, watch a movie, drink some good coffee, read a book and everything there is. I wanna get a tattoo and get a piercing on the upper part of my ears and I want to scream my lungs out at the top of a building or a mountain. I want to travel and get away for a while. There's too many things I want to do and feel like doing. And I ask myself, 'Why don't I?'bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-7504426845060167922013-08-11T07:27:00.002-07:002013-08-11T07:27:41.437-07:00Day 157-159: Leaving SoonI knooow. I have to aplogize for the seemingly long pauses in between my posts. It's not an excuse but I just get too tired when I get off from work that I can only manage to browse updates from social media and then I doze off afterwards. Again, I'm totally aware it's not an excuse but I at least had to throw in some defense or something.haha <br />
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Anyway, work for the past three days have been such a challenge for me. I'm losing all the drive needed for me to perform relatively better. Maybe one of the factors is the fact that I may leave the company soon and I'm seeing no point of exerting any effort. Yes, I've finally decided to go back home for good, I'll just need to render a one month resignation before I leave. I'm not really too sure what will happen with me once I get home, everything is just a total blur, but I have the gut feeling it's what I'm supposed to do. So yeah, I'll just update you once everything is already in place. <br />
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Going back to the topic of work, not much has happened during the past three days. My scores are still in an erratic state and I honestly don't know what to do with it anymore. Yesterday, one of my calls were pulled up and it was played to everyone in the team so that we could learn something from it. It was a bit embarrassing at first but since I didn't have any choice, I just kept in mind that it is for the betterment of everyone as well. <br />
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Tomorrow is gonna be my last day of work for the week and I'm seriously considering taking a leave from work. But then again, that would depend on my mood by the time I wake up. I just hope everything will be better by the morrow.
bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-23483903968024461062013-08-08T07:43:00.004-07:002013-08-08T07:50:18.983-07:00Day 154-156: Too Much Going OnI haven't written anything the past three days only means <strike>one</strike> two things: 1. I got too preoccupied with worldly things and 2. I was too busy being lazy. Too much has happened during the time I was away that I don't know how to start. Everything is just so unexpected and I'm having a hard time catching up. <br />
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As mentioned in my previous post, I received a very important news and I think I'm ready to share it now. My sister called me up and said she's finally going to Canada by the middle of September since her Visa will be expiring soon. What I didn't know was the fact that she's not bringing her son along with her. She wanted me to come home and basically take over her roles and responsibilities that she will be leaving behind. Having a job here in Cebu makes it harder for me to make such decision. I'm torn between having to take on new responsibilities and leaving my freedom behind. There's a big likelihood that I'll be going home for good but I'll let you know the details on that once it's been finalized. <br />
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Anyway, last Tuesday, I had my hair colored by a friend. I originally wanted to cut and curl my hair back again but since I was short with my budget, I'll have to settle with coloring my hair. I would've wanted to go a little blonder but the color I bought had a reddish feel to it so my hair ended up colored dark red which is fine. We went straight to the mall right after coloring my hair and I badly wanted to have my ears pierced at the upper portion of it but my fear of pain eventually took over and I chickened out. I'll probably do it some other time. <br />
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Yesterday, I just stayed home in the morning and went out with my friends in the afternoon. By evening, I had to meet up with an old friend to discuss something about investing at an early age and financial planning. The meeting turned out really well and I learned so much about money, how to control and the likes. I'll update you more on that too once I get to learn more about it. <br />
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Sadly for today, I had to go to work since my seemingly long break is already over. Work was just the same drill and nothing important is really worth sharing. We did celebrate one of my friends' birthday and I probably devoured all calories for today. I promise I will be shedding all of those at the gym tomorrow. Wish me luck!bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-22051289283124425432013-08-05T09:51:00.003-07:002013-08-05T09:51:47.243-07:00Day 152 and 153: On LeaveSeriously, something is wrong with my memory. I'm trying my hardest to remember anything I can share from what happened yesterday but nothing comes to mind. All I can recall was the steak I shamelessly devoured after work. Because it's also a payday, me and my friend decided to give in to our whims and I have no regrets right after. If my memory serves me right, it was a fairly relaxing shift. The only regret I had was not being able to attend mass because of my schedule. I just hope this schedule will change soon. I am not liking it even a bit. <br />
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Today was supposed to be my last day of work for the week but my leave was approved which turned out to be a good thing because it was a very busy day at work. I decided to shop for jeans and I was so proud of myself because I was able to stop from buying things I was so tempted to but didn't really need. I know it doesn't seem to be such a big deal but it is for me and I was able to control myself so that was a really good thing. <br />
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I then went to pamper myself and got me a manicure and pedicure. I loved how my nails turned out and although it was more expensive than others, it was totally worth it. I originally wanted to get my eyebrows threaded but I chickened out at the last minute so I might do it some other time. I went to the office right after to wait for my gym buddy since she had work and I loved it because we were the only people there. Speaking of gym, I'm not able to last a ten minute run on the treadmill anymore so I'm going for the incline and abdominals. I just hope everything pays out in the end. <br />
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I did receive a very disturbing news earlier though and these are one of those times where a decision has to be made and my life could take a 360 degree turn based on that decision. But I'm not yet ready to talk about it so I'll talk to you about that maybe tomorrow. I'll be heading off to bed in a while so I will not make this long. 'Til tomorrow!
bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-63550164353561911872013-08-03T08:19:00.001-07:002013-08-03T08:19:59.135-07:00Day 150 and 151: Dreams or Reality?I was supposed to publish an entry last night but for some annoying reasons (aka crappy internet), it never got published and when I woke up earlier this morning, everything got deleted and it wasn't even saved in the drafts. To make it worse, I totally forgot everything that I wrote on that entry. Well, not really everything but most of it. And I don't have the mental capacity to recall because my brain is so drained I can hardly remember what I did today. So please bear with me and understand that whatever I wrote probably happened in reality or maybe I just dreamt about it (it gets confusing sometimes). <br />
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There was not much that happened the past two days at work. It's still the same old routine but ot's not that queueing anymore. My crushie was also around yesterday even if it was his day off but I missed him today though. I'm still struggling with my scores and I wasn't able to meet my goals for July so I have to double time and come up with new things to accomplish. I'm not complaining though. I think I just need to push myself further in order to keep up with what's required of me. <br />
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On a totally unrelated note, I got really pissed off last night because I didn't get to have enough sleep. I won't get into details 'coz I know it's part of what I signed up for. I just hope things will better in due time. I will also not be making this long because it's already my imposed bed time. I'm also tired and the weather is so conducive for sleeping. It's actually been raining the entire day today which makes it even harder to go to work. Urgh, responsibilies!bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-5048445087390113762013-08-01T09:28:00.004-07:002013-08-01T09:28:46.968-07:00Day 149: August RushIt's already past midnight on my part of the world and my brain is already half asleep while writing this but I'll trudge along. And it's the start of the August rush so I can't miss out. Sadly though, it wasn't such a good start for me at work. I pretty much sucked in dealing with customers today that I was seriously considering quitting by the middle of my shift. But I can't. Well, technically, I can but I choose not to. There are too many things to consider before I get to that decision. <br />
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I also got interviewed by one of the auditors in our company to evaluate my next level supervisor. I was nervous at first but I found the auditor really cute after a few minutes of talking to him. He's one of those rare types who looks more attractive the longer you talk to him because of his intellectual capacity. One of the few guys who has sense when you talk to them and who exudes sincerity by looking straight tou your eyes while you talk, and you can't help but look back. Have you ever encountered such people? <br />
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Anyway, I was so drained at the end of the shift that I had to pass on going to the gym. Instead, I went shopping with my friend (she only did the shopping, I was just looking and drooling and wishing I had millions to buy everything I'm drooling at) and ate a chocolate sundae afterwards to cure my depression for that really cute sandals I was eyeing at but could never afford to buy. Okay, I can afford but I just don't think I need another pair of flats when I just bought two this month. <br />
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I'm slowly returning to my shopaholic-ish attitude and it's not good! This has got to stop or else my earnings will be gone in no time. Help me?
bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-51884452670400713912013-07-31T04:49:00.003-07:002013-07-31T04:49:57.506-07:00Day 148: High StandardsOkaaaay, so I just raped the replay button of Noah and Allie's epic kiss-in-the-rain scene. I cannot possibly explain how I feel right now. No, this is not the first time I'm seeing this movie but because I've been such a sloth today, I decided to watch it again. And without any second thoughts, The Notebook is and always will be my all-time favorite movie and love story. Ugh, this mushy feeling, I hate so much. <br />
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Speaking of such, a random unknown guy texted me earlier and asked if he could get to know me. I was like, 'Uhm, I'd hate to burst your bubble but I don't even know you'. He said he was from my hometown and he knew my sister. Of course. And you know what le sister said? Just give him a chance. No.Freakin'.Way! This guy doesn't even know his grammar. I know I have very high standards, which is probably one of the main reasons why I'm still single but I know what I deserve and if it's love we're talking about, why in the world would I settle for less? <br />
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Alright, enough of that. This is what happens when you don't get to seethe outside world.haha. As I said, I pretty much stayed at home the whole day today drowning myself in the world wide web. What about you? Any interesting thing that happened today?bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-46634052710137359482013-07-30T08:29:00.002-07:002013-07-30T08:31:23.832-07:00Day 147: Better Days Are ComingI am so freakin' tired! <br />
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Uhmm. Well, not really. I just wanted to start this post with something a little intense and with the word 'freakin' to it. It's not entirely a lie, just a half-baked truth. Oh my, am I even talking sense here? What is the matter with me? <br />
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Okay, let's start over. My day started out a wee bit frustrating today. Besides the irritating fact that I woke up early again even without meaning to, I also found out my scores for yesterday were not at all impressive. I had to pep talk myself out of my acute depression which was not an easy task. I still cringe with disappointement just with the though of it but there's no point looming over what's already done. So, I had to brush it off and move on. <br />
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I decided to watch The Notebook as a lift-me-upper and it worked for a while, until my crappy and ever so reliable internet connection decided to go against me. I only made it halfway through the movie so I went to sleep. I was planning on bailing out of my afternoon jog date with a friend but I figured it would do me good to get some fresh air anyway so I went on with it. And boy was I right. <br />
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After the jog and a little aerobics, I felt so much better and my happy hormones got back on track in no time. August is just around the corner and I better gear myself up for it. New goals, new plans, all in pursuit of a better me. Let's start the month right, shall we?bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-71638430020563919022013-07-29T09:17:00.000-07:002013-07-29T09:22:17.800-07:00Day 146: Getting used toMy new schedule kicks off today and under normal circumstances, this would've made me ecstatic since I'd have the luxury of sleeping late and waking up late too. But for some reasons, I still found it difficult to get up three hours later than usual. I'm not sure if my body clock is still adjusting or I'm just plain lazy. I'd still like to believe it's the former though. C'mon, I still deserve the benefit of the doubt, don't I? <br />
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I'm still adjusting to the new schedule at work too. I've been used to the same routine for the past four months and it seems like time runs ever so slowly for this schedule. And I hate the fact that everyone else ends their shift earlier than ours. Am.I talking sense here? Anyway, my day started out really great today. I had a very good score for yesterday's calls and I get to talk with my crushie. Of course, I looked like a retarded fool the whole time who can't wipe the smile off of her face and whose cheeks were probably as red as cherries. Why the f am I that transparent? Geez. <br />
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After work, I was finally able to go the gym and I was surprised that I still managed to lose weight even after being MIA for a couple of weeks. Technically, I should be happy about it but I'm starting to worry if I have uncovered diseases or something. Argh, the inner hypochondriac in me is coming out again. But at least, I didn't gain any weight after my endless food fest last week. <br />
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On another note, I'm usually already asleep by this time but since it's my day off tomorrow, I can sleep as late as I want. What about you? How was the start of your week?bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-18924230911067227242013-07-28T05:16:00.002-07:002013-07-28T05:16:52.249-07:00Day 145: InspirationAdam Levine's music was a perfect way to start my day. It's still raining for the nth time this morning but it wasn't that hard to wake up early anymore. I was particularly hyped up to start my day knowing my crush would finally be present at work today. I know it's such an immature way of thinking but it won't hurt to have an inspiration every now and then. Somehow it helps me become more motivated to go to work everyday and that's a good thing, right? <br />
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Throughout the day, there were a couple of instances when we got near each other and I can't help feeling all 'kilig' inside. I know he's already taken and all but it's not like I'm seducing him or something. And why am I suddenly getting all defensive?haha. But in all seriousness, even though I like him, I wouldn't go as far as ruin a relationship or something. Unless, an opportunity presents itself. Hahaha! I kid, I kid! <br />
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Anyway, work was just about the same today. There was a slight tension with the other team on the floor because of them being too noisy and barbaric (for lack of a better term). That has been an ongoing issue but it just reached to a different level earlier today. Well, I'm not really part of the issue so I'll just let them be. After work, we went home immediately and I spent the rest of the afternoon until now burying myself in the world wide web. <br />
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Was your Sunday any better?bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-66565237041146255402013-07-27T05:59:00.002-07:002013-07-27T06:02:33.806-07:00Day 144: Of Terrorism and DisappointmentsI just heard the worst possible news through Facebook today. My news feed was bombarded with posts about the recent bombing that happened in my hometown last night. Although none of my friends and family members were hurt but it was still the most horrendous thing that can happen especially to a once peaceful city, even dubbed as 'The City of Golden Friendship'. I know it's not right starting my post with such awful news but please help me pray for those who were injured and also for the safety of everyone in my hometown. <br />
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Anyway, let's talk about what happened today. I almost called off from work when I woke up to a very cold bed weather. It was so hard to separate myself from my bed when all I wanna do was snuggle and hid myself in the covers. Good thing my senses snapped to reality and I was able to finally force myself out of bed. Everything was doing well at work until before my lunch break. My friend told me that a guy from my team said really awful things about what I was wearing. And that started to ruin my day. <br />
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I tried my best to keep calm and just let it go but it was not the easiest thing to do. I could not help getting angry to the point that I wanted to lash out and cry. I was so silent during lunch that eventually my workmates noticed it. I was never good with confrontations and my overly used defense mechanism in situations like this was to keep it to myself and be mum about it as much as possible. It never occured to me to confront that certain person mainly because the tension would just be too much for me. Finally, one of my workmates decided to inform him how I felt about what he said and before the shift ended, the guy came to me and apologized. <br />
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I can never hold a grudge on anyone and as long as you say sorry sincerely, that's already enough for me. But that will forver leave a mark and it's something that I will never forget. After work, I attended mass with one of my friends and we went home after. That's when my roommate told me that aside from grinding my teeth during sleep two nights ago, I also laughed while I was asleep last night. It's a bit embarrassing especially when it gets noticed, I just hope it doesn't level up to sleepwalking or anything like that. Creepy!bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-84268014325294638092013-07-26T04:55:00.003-07:002013-07-26T05:01:04.613-07:00Day 143: Away with StressHAPPY WEEKEND everyone! Though it's still a work week for me, I can always pretend, can't I? <br />
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Anyway, I was a little bit bummed at work today because there's too many changes going on and I can hardly keep up. I didn't get any incentives for the past two months and I think I'm not getting one this month as well because my scores are not doing that good. I know the month hasn't ended yet but I'm slowly letting go of that possibility just to prepare myself. The only consolation I got today was having to see my crush at work even if it's his day off. But I'm pretty sure he's not gonna be around tomorrow so that's gonna be a double bummer. <br />
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After work, I was supposed to go to the gym but I, honest to God (and forgive me for using his name in vain), forgot about it. I just stayed in the office for an hour chatting with my friends and I only remembered when I saw my shoes at the locker. Amd since it's already too late for me to drop by, I decided to go home and hold it off for tomorrow. <br />
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On a different note, I just found out that I have bruxism. It's a condition wherein you grind your teeth when you're asleep. I researched about it and one of the causes is stress. I knew about it when my roommate told me just a while ago. I definitely had no idea that I was doing such (I was asleep, duh) and I'm amazed and worried at the same time. This has got to stop or else I'll be scaring my roommates off in no time. <br />
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It's almost my bedtime now so I will not make this long. It's currently raining now as I'm writing this and had been for the past couple of days. Is it also the same on your part of the world?bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-80061867784603017662013-07-25T05:56:00.001-07:002013-07-25T06:00:12.274-07:00Day 141 and 142: Mind over MatterToday is my Monday and as with all Mondays, I don't ever want to start it, wishing hard Friday would come faster. But as my mentor said, it's all a matter of mindset and so shall it be. <br />
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Work was pretty much the same today and I decided I would make it better with how I react to certain things that come along my way. Well, it wasn't easy especially when someone is shouting at you over the phone but it definitely helped in making things lighter and it's easier to laugh things off than brood over it. I'm just hoping that everything will translate to a good score tomorrow. <br />
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On a totally unrelated note, my crush finally smiled at me earlier at work. Of course, I looked like a retard trying to suppress being so 'kilig' but doing such a really bad job at it. But it's a start. And it fuels up my inspiration jar everyday so I guess it helps a little in dealing with everyday dramas. I'm also hoping I can go to the gym by the morrow since I've skipped going for almost two weeks now and I'm gaining so much weight it's ridiculous. <br />
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Speaking of weight, I've been indulging myself with non-stop food fest for almost a week now and I don't mean to sound like a bitchy weight conscious freak or cray-cray but it's definitely not healthy anymore. I'VE.GOT.TO.STOP! Just yesterday, after doing a major shoe clean-up, my friends wanted to hang out and eat Korean food and although I have the choice not to go, I just can't say no to them. After eating everything spicy, we needed to eat something sweet so off we went to Maitre Chocolatier, which served the most delicious fondue ever! I swear, I'm not a fan of anything too sweet but that place has changed everything and it has become an instant fave. I'm definitely going back there. <br />
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Anyway, it's almost the weekend for most of you, any plans?bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-31821305407868194132013-07-23T17:59:00.002-07:002013-07-23T18:02:50.833-07:00Day 139 and 140: Going FrenchOkaaaaay, so I just found out everything I've written last night have been completely wiped off because of crappy internet connection. It wasn't even saved in the drafts! Oh well, serves me well for being such a backlog queen. I hope my memory won't betray me this time. <br />
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Last Monday was my last day of work for the week which makes it technically my Friday, if you know what I mean. Having that said, my Monday night was spent in the company of friends over an ice cold bottle of beer. Work was a humdrum as always and there's no better way to cure such a stale environment than good food and booze. It was pizza and carbs and more carbs right after another and no room for regrets. <br />
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Although the place we went to just across my place almost got burned down (mildly exaggerating here) and we had to transfer to another place, we managed to have a good laugh out of it and enjoyed the rest of the night. I had to bail out early though because my eyelids were already pleading for rest and it pays to listen to your body once in a while. And because I came home late and the weather the morning after was unrelentlessly cold, I ended up separating from my bed late noon. <br />
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After taking care of some paperworks, I got together with some friends, this time to go French. We've been wanting to visit this quaint patisserie just a few blocks from home and it was about time we give in to our cravings. The place smelled nothing short of French goodies and I haven't seen so much wine in my twenty three years of existence. I'll post some of the photos once I get a hold of a computer (downside of having a tablet, ugh). It was definitely a good place to chill and I was so amazed I wanted to enroll myself in French classes at the school just beside the shop. What do you think? <br />
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We all went home after basking ourselves in everything French and we're already planning to go Korean the next day. I'm definitely looking forward to that!bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-49346400593770160302013-07-21T04:55:00.000-07:002013-07-21T04:55:15.049-07:00Day 138: Bed WeatherHappy Sunday everyone! <br />
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It's been raining for a couple of days now and I'm loving the cold weather more than ever (except for when my shoes get all muddy and the thunder gets so scary). I wasn't even in the mood to go to work early this morning because it was drizzling and it was just the perfect bed weather. Is it also raining on your part of the world? <br />
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Anyway, work was pretty laxed today. There weren't a lot of calls which means more time to chat with my friends. I always love sharing stories with these people because I really learn a lot from them. Although sonetimes, it can't be helped that green stories come out but it makes the conversation more interesting and fun. And one thing I've learned is to listen no matter how green the jokes are because you always learn something one way or another. <br />
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I was also able to keep in touch with le parents today and I'm missing them a lot this past few days. It's a good thing tgat they're doing really well and talking to tgem always makes me feel grounded. I just didn't mention that I wasn't able to go to church today mainly because I'd never hear the end of it. I haven't been able to attend mass for two Sundays in a row now and I really feel guilty. Hopefully, I'll be able to attend next Sunday. <br />
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What about you? Have you gone to mass today?bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-68455065941607418592013-07-20T05:15:00.000-07:002013-07-20T05:15:34.305-07:00Day 137: Missing my WeekendsIt's a Saturday and I'm still working! Gaah! I haven't gotten myself used to my new schedule that I'm now even forgetting which day of the week it is. And I'm getting all bitter when weekends come and I still get to work and when it's my day off, everyone is busy working. I need my weekends back! <br />
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Alright, enough of my unnecessary tantrums and whining. Today was still pretty busy at work and we kinda' got used to our weekends having high avail time that it caught us off guard. Good thing we had a meeting for more than an hour so that was a good time to be off the phone. Also, there were issues with the tools we were using so we had to log out a couple of times. After work, I badly wanted to buy new shoes since I haven't bought myself any ever since the year started (well, aside from the gym shoes I bought weeks ago).haha. <br />
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After visiting a few stores, I was only able to buy a skirt which was not planned at all. Some of the shoe displays were either too expensive or too ugly so I decided to hold it off until my next payout. I had to budget my meager salary anyway. <br />
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What about you? Any plans for the weekend?bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4572868894217511131.post-47164125228920950962013-07-19T04:04:00.001-07:002013-07-19T04:04:19.940-07:00Day 136: DrainedMy head feels like it's going to crack open anytime soon. It's aching and throbbing like I've just taken a very long exam without any breaks. I feel so exhausted and mentally drained. Usually, Fridays are not that busy at work but today, I felt like it was Monday all over again. <br />
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I'm already dreading my scores for tomorrow because I know that most of my calls were disputes and the customers were definitely not satisfied. All my positive energy was drained trying to argue and reason with the customers, it felt like there was no tomorrow. Aside from that, I also got so disappointed with my payout today. It was so meager I'm now having a hard time budgeting my expenses. Oh well, we gotta make do with what we have. <br />
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Anyway, I will not make this long, I'm gonna hit the sack anytime soon. I just hope everything will be better by tomorrow. bianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07970638873865849631noreply@blogger.com0