Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Something Unromantic

After a month of being MIA in the blogosphere, I finally got my hands back on the keyboard waiting for the creative juices to start flowing. Well, actually, I think I just need to de-stress for a while 'coz the past few days have been so stressful, I can't even put into words. My body clock is so messed up I might as well sleep standing or never sleep at all. Why does everything get so hard when you reach adulthood?? Why??Okaaaay, I'm gonna stop complaining now. I just needed to let that out.

Speaking of body clock, I've been having trouble sleeping these past few days. Sleep has been so elusive that I resorted to writing on my tickler in the middle of the night. This is entirely a product of insomnia and stress and does not have any affinity to my life whatsoever (and I'm not being defensive.haha). I don't usually write anything romantic in this blog as you may have noticed, but, allow me to be mushy and corny for once, okay? So here is an excerpt of what I wote:

"I'm kinda' missing you, which is funny 'coz I'm always missing you, even when we're together. I try desperately to act like I'm not interested in you but I end up looking more transparent than ever. I wish I could read you though, what your thoughts are, what you think about me, what you don't think about me, or whether you think about me at all! But I can't read you. As transparent as I am, so as impenetrable (for lack of a better term) are you. 

There were times when I wanted to just stare at you but then I get worried of what you might think when you look back so I just turn away, only to find out minutes later that I'm doing the same thing all over again. There were times too that I just want to talk to you but I don't wanna be the one to start up the conversation. I mean, do I just say, "you seem interesting, tell me more about yourself'. C'mon, how awkward is that? I wish you would just talk to me first.

The last time we were together was prolly one of the happiest I have ever been. I secretly hoped you would sit beside me during that time. And you did! You even sit so close, I could hardly breathe. And then you brought your face so close to me to whisper something and I couldn't concentrate on what you were saying 'coz all I could think of was to kiss you right then and there. Geeez.

And then at the end of the day, I thought you were gonna walk me home but you didn't. So I was wondering again what you were thinking or whether you thought about walking me home. It would give me comfort knowing at least you thought about it. And now, I can't sleep. I keep thinking about you and the time I will have to wait to see you again. I just wish you were thinking about me too."

Aaaaand now I'm having second thoughts whether I would post this. This is so not me. So if you are able to read it now, you'd know I finally had the courage to click that 'publish' button.hahaha.

I have  no idea when I would be able to post an entry again. I'll try to squeeze in an outfit post this weekend 'coz I'm finally going home! I'll see you then!