Monday, August 12, 2013

Day 160: Down In The Dumps

I was and still am seriously in a battle against separation anxiety today. If you must know, I called off at work today without any particular life-threatening reasons at all. But of course, I had to make an alibi for my downright laziness and under the weather dramas, which in my case was, a bad case of dysmenorrhea. They prolly know I was lying and we've all done that in one way or another so there's no point of judging me here. I'm just human. We all are.

So yeah, I've been down in the dumps the whole day, just staying in bed and drowning in a whirlwind of endless youtube videos, only getting up to take a shower and eat. Thank God my sometimes crappy internet connection wasn't all that crappy today. There are too many things running through my mind and I try to keep myself busy in order not to think. I just want to not think for a while and just breathe and feel nothing. I know, I'm feelling all sorts of weirdness and anxiety about the upcoming changes in my life. And thinking about it scares the crap out of me.

Ugh, I know I have to get out of the house to get me some lift-me-uppers. I wanna go for a run, watch a movie, drink some good coffee, read a book and everything there is. I wanna get a tattoo and get a piercing on the upper part of my ears and I want to scream my lungs out at the top of a building or a mountain. I want to travel and get away for a while. There's too many things I want to do and feel like doing. And I ask myself, 'Why don't I?'

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