Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Day 20 and 21: Going back and Starting Over

I know, I know. To my defense, I didn't really do anything different on these two days so it's technically forgivable to merge this into one post. On the downside, I totally forgot what I did yesterday. I know I just spent the entire morning watching CSI and Revenge because I was too lazy to get up I had myself believe I was literally glued to the living room chair. And I skipped breakfast because I was too caught up trying to figure out who really killed who. I also happen to skip lunch because I was too busy putting the pieces together on the recent happenings in the life of Emily Thorne, God it's been too long since I watched an episode of this. I ate bits and pieces of junk though, if that helps. I know it's not healthy but to my defense again, I'm gonna be facing real life soon so I might as well enjoy what I can while I'm still here.

Speaking of going back to the real world, I booked my ticket back to Cebu yesterday. I'm leaving on Sunday and frankly, I'm scared. I'm starting all over again and I don't know what to expect. I have a lot of new plans and goals but just like before, I don't know if this will ever go according to plan. I'm gonna be throwing myself back in the open and although things are so much more different than it was before when I started, I can't help but feel a little apprehensive.

If you may know, some people want me to just stay here, including my parents. They don't even know I'm gonna be leaving on Sunday. I'm just waiting for the right timing (probably an hour before my trip. lol) because I know I'm gonna see those disapproving looks again. I mean they didn't really say it out loud but as kids, we get the hint. It's not that I don't want to, believe me, having stayed in the comfort of my home for almost three weeks made me almost rethink my decision. But I want to challenge myself too.  I need the challenge in order for me to grow as an individual. I'm thinking this could be a form of avoidance or escapism, maybe, I don't know. But what I do know is that I can't say here for now. I just hope they would find it in their hearts to understand what I'm going through. You don't know how those disapproving looks make me feel like the prodigal daughter who, I'm not so sure will ever come back.

P.S. As I said, I pretty much did the same thing today, the only difference was the series I watched. I exchanged Revenge with Glee and I'm glad I did because the episode was on their sectionals.

P.S.S. You should watch that episode. You won't regret it.

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