To the Sky

Because I have the afternoon off, I feel obliged to write something while I still can. My friends are prolly gonna kill me when I see them coz I ditched them again last night. If you all are reading this, I'm sorry. I have no excuses. I'm a boring introverted ho hum, I know. Forgive me?

Going back, I've been putting off dropping a line for the past few days and to say that I miss writing is an understatement. Which is weird 'coz I actually have no idea what to write about. So I decided to gorge you with what's been up with me lately. I know what you're thinking, capital B.O.R.I.N.G. But hey, it's my blog anyway. Ugh, I hate saying that but I just had to. So anyway, back to the shenanigans of my utterly farcical life. And yes, I am writing in bullets.

 ·I just finished reading Fifty Shades. The controversial book had mixed reviews before I started my reading and my curiosity was piqued. It's not my usual preference of a book but despite the negative feedback that it implicates immoral sexual acts, I would like to believe it's not what the author wishes to convey. I wouldn't say I'm a fan because I was definitely not challenged with the way the book was written (I swear I could have written something like that myself) but I get the story. One thing I never appreciate are people giving reviews without even lifting a single page. You actually have to read the book for your opinion to be considered valid you know. And I don't mean that in a mean way, just an honest opinion as well.

 ·I just reached my 8th month at work, which I never expected at all. It's my first real job and I lasted this long so I consider that a mini accomplishment. As with all jobs, it gets pretty routinary after doing the same thing over and over again for a couple of months. I get to thinking when I would actually have the courage to really go for I want but then I get back to square one after realizing I don't know what I want. Or maybe I do, I'm just too scared to go for it because then failure would be heartbreaking. I am an overthinker, as usual.

·In relation to the second bullet, I just received a very important phone call a few days ago. It's from a probable employer setting me up for an interview. I don't know if I have shared this with you in my previous posts but this is pretty much the reason why I'm working in Cebu right now. I've wanted and waited for this opportunity for almost a year now and I was beyond ecstatic. But I won't deny, I also felt a little scared. Strange, I know. But I'm kinda' enjoying my job right now and I couldn't ask for a better work environment. I'm actually still a little torn about it but I gotta try it out. Change is always scary. But I heard it's inevitable as well.

·I still am single. As I have mentioned in my previous post, it doesn't really bother me that I am not in a relationship or that I haven't been in one for a very long time. Okaaaay, so it bothers me a little (rolls eyes). Sometimes, the question of what could be wrong lingers and hovers over the back of my mind and I can't help but check on my self-esteem once in a while. It would be pathetic of me to say that I don't get jealous of couples who walk ahead of me hand in hand seemingly oblivious of the outside world other than their tiny love bubble (and I sounded so bitter with that sentence.haha.) I do get jealous. But I gotta be patient. I have no choice but to be patient.

I guess that's pretty much it. I know I haven't been really faithful with this blog lately. You know, life happened. And it's never the same as before. But one thing is for sure, this blog never fails to make me feel at home. I realized I haven't even posted any photos of me lately. Not that it's necessary but with that said, I'll be leaving you with a recent photograph taken of me.

No, I don't really wear glasses but yes, I curled my hair.

Oh, you might be wondering about the title. I have been hooked up with this song ever since I listened to it the first time. Adam Young's acoustics never fail to brighten my day. No matter how life has been treating you lately, I hope this one does the same to you.

xo,
biang

Of love letters and romanticisms

A couple of days ago, a friend asked me to whip up a letter for someone he cares for but didn't realize it until the other person finally left. It's funny why people entrust me with such things 'coz I am far from expert when it comes to writing love letters or relationships in general. Nevertheless, I had fun authoring this letter, I just hope I did justice translating those feelings into pen and paper.

'My eyes are still sore from too much crying. Oh no, it's not something drastic, I guess maybe I'm just overly poignant, especially when it involves people and relationships.

If there's one thing I learned after 22 years of breathing life, it's that people come and go. It's a reality that I face every waking moment especially with the kind of job that I involved myself with. But you know what's crazy? What's crazy is how it doesn't get any easier and how it affects me all the same after all those years. When you're the one leaving, it's never that hard but when you're the one being left behind, it's a whole different story. So this is to that one person who I never got the chance to be really close with but has really affected my life without him having so much as a knowledge of it. Or maybe I did get the chance, I was just too inane and naive not to grab it. And now, all I could do is cry. If only my tears could cry more tears, it probably would never stop.

But if there is one thing more important than shedding tears and reminiscing moments, it is moving on. It may take a while but I'll get there. No doubt I will definitely miss you. I may even miss us, even if there is no us. Peculiar, yes? But I will just have to comfort myself with the certainty that I will see you again. And if Gods be good, maybe when that time comes, I will be intrepid enough to express how I feel, hoping you will be open to that possibility as well.'

I have written my share of love letter to someone too. I just don't have the courage yet to post it here.haha.

P.S. This is not the actual letter, my friend has decided to inject his own flare and made it his own. And if I may say, he didn't really need me, he did a mighty fine job himself.

P.S.S If you would be so kind and humor me with your thoughts about writing love letters, I would really appreciate it. Sure, it's cheezeballs and all romantic crap but don't you think it's a breath of fresh air amidst the new generation way of courting or dating? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

xo, biang