The only way is up

As much as I would like to start this off with all the positivity I can muster on, my frustrations are not allowing me to. Plus, the bipolar weather these past few days is not helping at all in lifting up my dreary mood. I am silently hoping  that this act of translating my disorganized thoughts and disarrayed emotions into random ramblings will do it's job as a lift-me-upper.

It's been an awful week for me at work. It's so disappointing when you try so hard to excel and perform however things are just not going your way. What's worse is when you are on top and then you hit rock bottom  faster than the blink of an eye. And no matter how hard you try, rock bottom seems to love your company so much it wouldn't let you go back up. I'm almost on the verge of quitting if not for the fear of having nowhere to go after I quit.

When my mom called me the other day to ask how I was doing, I told her all about the pressure I was experiencing at work. She told me I was always welcome to go back home anytime I want. Believe me when I say I was almost on my way to grab myself a ticket back home but then I realized I have to own up to my decision. I chose this over the comfort of my own home and I should've known it won't be easy.

It took me a while and heaps of courage to finally pick myself up and stop being so hard on myself. Instead of wallowing in self pity, I should prove to them that I will and I can do better. It may take a while but I will get there. For now, I will allow myself to be comforted by James Morrison's libretto 'When it all falls down, the only way is up'. I have to keep reminding myself that I could always choose whether to go up or stay where I am right now. And I choose the former.

xoxo,
biang

Infidelity

Okay, let's talk about marriage.

Not that I know anything about it. But..let's just talk about marriage. Or infidelity. Or both.

A married man once told me "Why did I meet you just now? I wish I met you so much earlier." I knew he's married, of course I knew. But when he told me that, I couldn't help but be flattered, which is normal. Compliments like that are healthy for your self-confidence.

But when you hear compliments like that every single day from the same married man coupled with lines like, "How about a date?", makes you think about  things you should not be thinking. I would hate to insinuate anything, I'm telling it just as it is. I keep thinking what would happen if I jumped into the bandwagon and say yes to that date?

It took me a simple search on Facebook to finally give a halt to all my crazy thoughts. I saw his wife and kid, basically the whole family in his photos. I didn't need any pinching for me to realize there was no place for me there. I can't believe I even considered the option of going out with him.

As a friend once said, "Whatever happens, you will always be on the losing end because he's already taken." It's funny how circumstances lead you to the edge of your values and principles. And how words can blind you to do the opposite.

But it's all over now. I'm finally back to my old logical self. I hope you don't judge me though for my temporary lapse of judgment. I didn't believe this was worth a post in my humble blog but then I decided otherwise.

xoxo,
biang

Friends for Keeps

A friend asked me yesterday why I was not updating my blog anymore. It took me a while to come up with an answer but ended up saying the most generic answer of all, "I got busy." Although the phrase doesn't scream out an outright lie, it is not an excuse either. So I would like to apologize (for the nth time) for being so inconsistent with my blog posts. Again, I don't have any excuses, and even if I do come up with one, it doesn't suffice and it never will.

Anyway, I'm back in front of the keyboard because I am in the mood for writing. This may be a little long but it's something worth reading.

I will start it off by backtracking. In my attempt at being independent, I decided to pack up my bags and ended up in the not-so-familiar place of Cebu. With nothing but dreams and hopes in my pocket, I was able to find my way eventually and after three short months, I would like to believe I am already settled (in my own definition that is). Of course, there are a lot of what-if's and could-be's along the way but at the end of the day, when I think about the decision that I made, I have no regrets.

There are a lot of things that I have learned that I wouldn't have if I just stayed in my hometown. I met new friends at work and although I've only known them for a couple of months, they are the people I now consider my family here in Cebu. During the times when I miss my family back home, they have been my company and they were able to fill up that void. I've always been "bullied" by these friends but they have taught me a lot of lessons not only in terms of work but most importantly, about life in general. I will always be thankful.

Speaking of friends, the ones I left back home haven't been MIA too even if we are miles apart. There are times when I'm a feeling a little bit under the weather and it's always comforting that aside from snuggling up in my own bed, I always have people who I can talk to and feel a whole better afterwards. When something major happens to me, whether it be something awesome or awful, I know they will be there to listen to me without the fear of being judged for whatever actions I do or decisions I make. They always understand.

Another lesson I've learned is the attitude of owning up to my own mistakes. Way back home, there was always someone to blame for my misfortunes (it's always easier that way) but now that I'm alone, I am responsible for my own self. It's not always easy since it takes a lot of maturity (and I am everything but mature) but I am learning and I am learning every single day.

I have a lot more to share however, I feel like I have already blabbed more than I should for a single post so I will be saving the rest for the next (which I have zero idea when that would be). Geeez. Anyway, have a great weekend everyone!

xoxo,
biang

Miami Rave Party

I had the opportunity to attend the summer GA of our company last week which was held at Vista Mar Beach resort. And since it was a company event, there were a lot of activities, a lot more people and of course, booze was served like it would be banned the next day (I am not even exaggerating.haha).

I was glad I went though 'coz I have been itching to go out and have some R&R because of the stress brought about by work. I was finally able to feel the summer vibe and it was definitely a good way to jumpstart my summer!

While waiting for the bus to transport us to the resort

We had to ride the bus on the way to the resort and when we arrived at the place, we couldn't wait to camwhore.haha. We immediately headed to the beachside to have our photos taken (isn't it too obvious?haha). And if you're wondering why the photos here have different qualities, I had to grab these from my friends since I wasn't able to bring my own camera.

Love this pic!

Project to the nth level. :)

with Donnel, Maco and Marf

Spot the not!

There were a lot of activities before the formal program started to keep all the people abuzz. There was free hair braiding and body painting when we arrived and it went on until around late afternoon. A lot of people were also lining up to get their photos taken at the photobooth, which was funny 'coz it was always around at every event in our company and people couldn't seem to get enough of it. A lot of prizes were also given out but unfortunately we didn't win any. Talk about luck!haha

People queuing to have their hair braided

There were also a lot of people lining up for the body painting

My friend Donnel trying out his stuff.

Some of the body paintings of my friends :)

Of course, we had to have our photos taken at the photobooth!

Vonage Wave 20 group pic :)

Stolen shot by Marf :)

Solo pic :)

I think some of the people went home at the wee hours of the morning but because we were such a buzzkill, we just waited for the food and then we left afterwards. Eat and Run was our motto that night.haha

But even if we left early, I still had fun and I couldn't wait for my next summer escapade! Let's hope there's still more to come *crosses fingers

How's your summer so far?

xoxo,
biang

Food Trip

It's been ages since I've posted a food entry. While this one is a tad bit overdue, it was still one of the best eat-outs I had mainly because, I experienced it with my new acquaintances I now proudly call friends. 

It's a shame how I can't remember the full name of the restaurant but I believe it goes like AA Barbeque or something like that. They have raw food displayed in the counter and you have to choose what you want to order and then they cook it afterwards. The food was actually good, or maybe I was just really hungry that time that I almost ate twice what I normally do.haha.

Calamares.

I forgot the name but this was also really good.

Baked Scallops. I've always wanted to try this one but was disappointed 'coz it was too salty for me. :c

The fish that I devoured shamelessly.haha

See? We were not that hungry.haha

Group picture :)

Thank you Rose for this stolen pic :)

As I can remember, this was a long night. A lot of random things happened and there were a lot of firsts for me. But I'll save all that for future posts, okay?

*credits to Rosalie for all the photos taken

Meanwhile, let's all celebrate Easter Sunday with grateful hearts for our father has finally risen. :)

xoxo,
biang

Truth or Dare

Surprisingly, I am in the mood for creating wordy posts these past few days. Is it too obvious?haha. Don't worry, I'll try to restrain myself this time. No promises though.

I'm gonna start it off with what happened yesterday. And although it's gonna feel like reading a highschooler's diary, I have to let this out or else it's gonna eat me up alive.haha.

It all started with a game, and the loser would have to choose between a truth or a dare consequence. Of course, we all know that whichever one you chose, you can't get away without losing a face. And that's exactly what happened to me because apparently, I was one of the constant losers that night. And no, let's not talk about luck this time.haha

I was actually fine with the dares that my co-trainees shamelessly imposed on me. And I was already fixed on choosing that option up until the game ends. But I don't why my freakishly weird mouth which has a life of it's own chose 'truth' instead of 'dare'. So I silently prayed they wouldn't ask me that constantly abused question, 'Who is your crush in the room?' way back in highschool. But they did. And what have you to do when your crush is sitting almost right next to you? I know what, D-I-E!

It almost took me 5 minutes to answer that question. Which was funny 'coz all those people asking me already knew the answer, all they wanted was a tormenting confirmation from me. The only good thing was that, my crush was sitting with his back against me so I just mouthed his name and thankfully, my prosecutors let me away with it. But of course I alread know he-who-must-not-be-named already had a feeling about it 'coz he was the only decent male present in the room. Awkward.

I know, I know, I should get over it. I feel like throwing up 'coz I know I'm too freakin' old for this. Geez.

xoxo,
biang

Good Friday

And because sleep has failed me once more, I resort to writing.

It's such a sad thing when you have to work on holidays. I was originally planning to go home this holy week but because of my crazy schedule, I had to stay and go to work. Booo :( And the only consolation that I have? Double pay. Now I'm not so sure if that even compensates the time I'm spending away from my family. 

I also realized that when you are away from home, holidays or special events like this are spent so differently. My mom was not there to constantly remind me to fast when I sometimes forget and dad was not there to badger me off to go to mass and do stations of the cross. And I badly miss spending the days off with my family. It's a good thing I have friends who shared the same sentiments with me.

The pictures below were taken a while ago when we went to Sto. Nino Church after work to say a prayer or two. Although it was not my first time there, my friends really wanted to take a picture of me inside the historical church so we had a mini picture taking after we offered our prayers. Can you recognize those tired faces? haha

Donnel and me.

Marf, me, Maco and Rosalie.

Of course I have to have a solo pic.

 I have to admit I have not been very faithful when it comes to following the Lenten practices this year. But I have not forgotten the real reason why we are celebrating this very special holiday and the sacrifices that our Father has done for us. I will forever be thankful for the life that he gave us in exchange of his own.

I hope you all have a peaceful and reflective Holy Week everyone. :)

xoxo,
biang