The only way is up

As much as I would like to start this off with all the positivity I can muster on, my frustrations are not allowing me to. Plus, the bipolar weather these past few days is not helping at all in lifting up my dreary mood. I am silently hoping  that this act of translating my disorganized thoughts and disarrayed emotions into random ramblings will do it's job as a lift-me-upper.

It's been an awful week for me at work. It's so disappointing when you try so hard to excel and perform however things are just not going your way. What's worse is when you are on top and then you hit rock bottom  faster than the blink of an eye. And no matter how hard you try, rock bottom seems to love your company so much it wouldn't let you go back up. I'm almost on the verge of quitting if not for the fear of having nowhere to go after I quit.

When my mom called me the other day to ask how I was doing, I told her all about the pressure I was experiencing at work. She told me I was always welcome to go back home anytime I want. Believe me when I say I was almost on my way to grab myself a ticket back home but then I realized I have to own up to my decision. I chose this over the comfort of my own home and I should've known it won't be easy.

It took me a while and heaps of courage to finally pick myself up and stop being so hard on myself. Instead of wallowing in self pity, I should prove to them that I will and I can do better. It may take a while but I will get there. For now, I will allow myself to be comforted by James Morrison's libretto 'When it all falls down, the only way is up'. I have to keep reminding myself that I could always choose whether to go up or stay where I am right now. And I choose the former.

xoxo,
biang